Hear Me Out… (sorry it’s long)

God had called me out of my sphere of influence. Away from home, comfort, and the people I love. To the World where they don’t know me, I was not comfortable and I had no idea how to love outside of the familiar. I now know my calling. I know what God has invited me to do. He has taken captive my heart and redeemed the sin I was in. I don’t know how it is going to look one day to the next. But I know it is for His glory and His kingdom that I live for and would die for.

           Either way, the crucial issue s this: It is as a woman you must live there. Do not be naïve. The World is still deeply marred by the Fall. Men still dominate in many sinful ways. (remember the curse). Women who “make it” there tend to be dominating and controlling (remember Fallen Eve). The Evil One holds sway over the World and its systems (1 John 5:19). In the World you must be cunning as a Rahab, an Esther, a Tamar. You must walk wisely. You must not let them shape you into their view of what a woman is. You’ll end up a man. What you have to offer is as a woman. Uniquely feminine.

           Above all, you must live in that World as a response to the invitation of Jesus, for you will be hurt if he has not called you there. You will be covered if he has.

There is no way that I would have “made it” had it not been for the Love of God. His strength and His grace to get me through ALL the crazy, hard, challenging, and uncomfortable situations. This is not something you can do on your own. Not all the traveling, heartache, poverty, sleepless nights, and demanding days, would someone choose to do this… it has a reason, it has purpose. To spread His love, His mercy, His compassion to His people who need it. I didn’t realize that God would show me these things first hand before and while giving them out to others. I had to experience His love, His mercy and His compassion before I was able to give it away. I realize that everyone needs it, in different measures than the next. Jesus called me out. He protected me against all odds. For this I am grateful. He has loved me, taught me and brought me through situations and circumstances my wildest dreams wouldn’t have conjured up. I know there is more and it’s exciting. Faith has taken on new meaning.

WHAT IS WRITTEN ON YOUR HEART?

As I said earlier, the invitations of Jesus come to us in many ways. Sometimes they come through a circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us. Sometimes they come through other people who see something in us that we may not yet see, and they invite us to step forth in some way. But God’s invitations ultimately are matters of the heart. They come through our passions, those desires set deep within us. What is it you yearn to see happen-how do you long for the world to be better place? What makes you so angry you nearly see red? What brings you tears?

I long for the world to be a better place in many, many ways. But the thing that I am passionate about, the thing that makes me red, or brings me to tears is young women… just women. Women, lost and wandering aimless through life, with no sense of purpose or direction. Women who conform to the world’s ways, rules and image because they don’t know who they are in Christ. Women who are in bondage to sins of the flesh and other things that hold them down, keep them low and don’t allow them to feel the peace and freedom that Christ died to give us. I want women to walk in Joy and confidence. I want women to look out for one another… instead of compete with each other. I want HONESTY. Just be honest…. What is it that bothers you? How can we resolve this or that? Bring the crap to light and don’t let it fester! It will eat you in some way or another.

I could go on and on in different directions with different avenues of TRUTH to speak over the traffic of our thoughts. So much, so much more. Ladies. And I am learning right there with you… but here’s what I learned so far… that’s what I want to do… that’s what I want you to know. As quickly as I get it I want to give it away. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It all starts with God, it all returns to Jesus. It’s all about Him and NOT about us. When so often we think it is. WE CAN DO NOTHING apart from Him. Nothing of true substance, true change, true meaning. When He gets His glory… in whatever life situation or circumstance… we get our JOY. True – Honest – Pure JOY. It makes me red to watch satan steal things that are rightfully ours because of the blood and it brings me to tears to see women realize what they were missing and yearn for the wholeness that God provides. Tears of thankfulness when girls give their life to Chirst and have the answer right before them… I know they are safe… I want them safe. It’s the mother in me… it’s the mother in a lot of us. We just need to know where to point these girls. We need to believe it ourselves first. (ugh. I should stop)

           You will find that as God restores your heart and sets you free, you will recover long-lost passions, long-forsaken dreams. You’ll find yourself drawn to some vision for making the world a better place. Those emerging desires are invitations-not to rush out and attempt them immediately. That is also naïve. They are invitations to bring your heart to your Love and ask him to clarify, to deepen, to speak to you about how and when and with whom. We love Frederick Buechner’s description when he writes, “The place that God calls us is that place where the world’s deep hunger and our deep desire meet.”

My desire is to talk to girls… women… God’s daughters. WAKE UP!… It’s all in Jesus. I need mentoring. I need training. I need schooling. I need experience. I know this. But, I don’t know how, or what it will look like or how I am going to pay for it. But I know these are the first steps to the broader and bigger picture of a revolution of love for His daughters. A revolution of freedom! What does that look like? How does that feel? What does this mean? Walking / Talking in confidence, authority, freedom, encompassed by peace and filled with Joy. AMAZING. Giving thanks-thanks-thanks and glory to our Father. IT IS POSSIBLE… it’s called KINGDOM on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN. That’s what it’s called and it is possible because of JESUS!

All back to HIM. J

DO NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR

Of course this is scary.

            Responding to the invitations of Jesus often feels like the riskiest thing we’ve ever done. Just as Rahab, Esther, Ruth and Mary. Ask Jeanine, Ellie, Tammy, Carol, and Kathleen. Webster defines “risk” as exposing one’s life to the possibility of injury, damage, or loss. The life of the friends of God is a life of profound risk. The risk of loving others.The risk of stepping out and offering, speaking up and following our God-given dreams. The risk of playing the irreplaceable role that is ours to play. Of course it is hard. If it were easy you’d see lots of women living this way.

            So let’s come back then to what Peter said when he urged women to offer their beauty to others in love. This is the secret of femininity unleashed:

            Do not give way to fear. (1Peter 3:6)

            The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?) we have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe. We feel so deeply that if it doesn’t go well, if we are not received well, their reactions becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts. We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed. Again. That we will hear yet again the message of our wounds, the piercing negative answers to our Question. That is why we can only risk stepping out when we are resting in the love of God. When we have received his verdict on out lives-that we are chosen and dearly loved. That he finds us captivating. Then we are free to offer.

I love this last part. All of this is scary. Living by faith is not what the world does. Plan, plan, save, and stop dreaming. Realistically Rachel… what can you really do?

I say. Realistically World… I don’t live for you… I live for He who is greater than you who is in the world. SO how about I check with Him and Go where He tells me, say what He wants me to say and pray what He wants me to pray. It’s the best place to be… In His Will. His will be done…. RIGHT!?!? -> Right! So when I rest in His love… I have the support, encouragement and strength to step out. To be a fool for Christ and to speak the Truth He calls us ALL to speak. All because of LOVE.

            You could say that people did not respond very well to Jesus’ love, to his stepping out in faith and playing the role that was his alone to play. And that would be a ridiculous understatement. The very people that Jesus died for hurled insults at him, mocked him, spa at him, crucified him. Jesus had to trust his Father profoundly, with his very being. Peter uses him as our example saying, “Follow in his steps… He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God” (1Peter 2:21-23 NLT). Or, as another translation has it, “he has entrusted himself” to God. He was okay. He entrusted himself to God.

            A few verses later, Peter writing to women, says, “in the same way… do not give way to fear.” (3:1,6). Jesus lived a life of love and invites us to do the same. Regardless of the response.

            It was very hard and immensely risky for me to begin to speak and offer from my heart at our women’s retreats. Terrifying, really. You see, when I first began to speak, I was severely overweight. My sin, my addiction, was plain for all to see. To stand in front of a group of women and be clearly failing in the outward beauty department was humbling and hard. It has felt risky for me to write this book with John. Risky to share so much of my story. Risky because I’m a first-time author and he is so well-known, so good at it.  

            But we don’t get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together. We don’t get that luxury. If we did, would anyone ever feel like offering anything? God asks us to be vulnerable. He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses. He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given us even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were. He wants us to trust Him.

This always sounds easier that it is. Just trust Him. But every challenge has us reverting back to our ways. Thinking we can do it better. It’s a process and I am not saying I know everything there is to know about life, being a woman, or anything. All I know is when I learn from life… from God… I’ll let you know. And if it helps you out in anyway… GREAT more power to you… and you be THANKING God for the insight, the wisdom, the healing or whatever else it is that was bettered, avoided or overcome. 

I won’t always get it right. I will make mistakes. I will and do have weaknesses. But I offer my life to Him and if He chooses to make public my journey and lessons in order to help another heal and walk in freedom, I accept. Whatever allows His presence more in my life is where I chose to be. 

            How it turns out is no longer the point. Living in this way, as a woman alive, is a choice we make because it is the woman we want to be. It is our loving response to our Lover’s invitation.

I love the phrase, “fake it before you make it”. Not that everything needs to be fake. More so, intentionally live out the kind of woman you want to truly be. It becomes natural and effortless after a while. Try on patience, and watching your mouth of speaking negatively about yourself. Exercise that muscle of kindness and joy and see how your mood changes. Most importantly… we ALWAYS have something to be THANKFUL about. That alone will do wonders for a not so great day.

BE PRESENT

            To live as an authentic, ransomed, and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment. If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. We cannot play the ezer role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only one life to live. It would be best to live your own. 

            What have we to offer, really, other than who we are and what God has been pouring into our lives? It was not by accident that you were born; it was not by chance that you have the desires you do. The Victorious Trinity has planned on your being here now, “for such a time is this” (Esther 4:14). We need you.

            Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. (John 13:3-5, emphasis added)

            Jesus knew who he was. He knew where he had come from and where he was going. He knew why he was here. And so, in power and strength, in humility and complete freedom, he offers. He ministers to and ultimately he pours out his life as an offering for ours. Pleasing and holy and acceptable. Jesus does this, he says, as “an example that you should do as I have done for you”(v.15).

            God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you are going. There is freedom there. Freedom to be and to offer and to love. So, may we take a moment to remind you who you truly are?

            You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved. You are sought after, pursued, romanced, the passionate desire of your Fiance, Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.

            As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God’s mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being, vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God’s love. You labor with God to bring forth life – in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty.

            We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of the heart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play. Perhaps you are meant to be a concert musician or a teacher. Perhaps you are meant to be a neurologist of a horse trainer. Perhaps you are to be an activist for ecology or the poor or the aged or the ill. You are certainly called to be a woman, wherever else he leads you.

            And that is crucial, dear heart. Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love. 

            It is by Invitation.

            Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, “May I have this dance… everyday of your life?” His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response.

            My lover spoke and said to me.

            “Arise, my darling,

            my beautiful one, and come with me.” (Song 2:10)

I am dancing and I love it. I said in my last blog… which is interesting being that I didn’t even read this from the book, Captivating yet.

“I dance to the beat of a different drum… my heart beats to the percussion of the Prince of Peace… and His music brings Life…”  

If you are looking to give to something, or believe in what I stand for and are able to give financially I would appreciate it. I will stand up. I will go. I will… but I need your help. I can’t do it alone. I humbly ask for financial support and your prayers for the next venture. One I didn’t think I would be taking but one I believe the Lord is directing. You are more than welcome to know every step I take towards being kingdom to bring Kingdom here on earth. I will continue with my blog and things that have happened this past year… things that God teaches me on a daily basis or whatever He chooses to do. So. That’s all.

Thank you for reading this far. Well done!

My Love. Honesty. Gratitude and Respect.

-Rachel Hartman-