Should I be surprised it would be this hard. I feel so stupid for caring so much.
Coming to a mall with no make up on and looking so frumpy. I have never been like this. At least not without an option. Meaning that this was by choice and even then I might have my paint clothes on or have workout clothes on because clearly that would be the reason I would choose to look this way.
Nope.
Not this time.
I have nothing else.
I am bare. This is me.
I don’t call it beautiful yet.
What else is He going to have me go through? More situations like this… like today.
I thought for a second at least I’m not in the U.S. I would probably be asked if I was alright, do I feel ok? The answer right now would be NO.
I don’t have makeup covering the blemishes on my skin. I smell. This shirt is stretched out and I am tired. I cried twice today and I miss home.
I am sitting at a Starbucks and don’t even feel like ordering anything. I am bloated and just want to hug my mom and see my sisters. 
I am being told to cover up even more that I ever have and it still isn’t enough. I want to do as I am told and don’t want to offend anyone… but I am so uncomfortable.
What happened to me?
Who am I?
I know this is a season. I know this isn’t for good. I should reassure my family and friends that I am changing for the better.
God is having me be comfortable in my own skin and to rely on Him…
I get it.
I get it God. I see what You’re doing… I am trying to embrace it.
I am trying to obey it.
I hope I am making You proud.
There have been several occasions You told me I do… and I am… but still, today?
Oh. God.
Thank You for Your Love.
Your “tough love”
this is all for now. I will write more later.
Not sure if this is a good time to add or not…
a HUGE — THANK YOU to all my supporters…
I ask now for prayerful consideration of financially supporting me.
I am shy about $3000.00 to reach my financial goal.
If I get over that I will be able to be reimbursed for plane tickets, insurance and vaccinations.
This was a random and sparratic blog… I am sitting at Starbucks right now… and figured… “what the heck” let’s throw it out there…
all of it…
I hope you receive it well…
God Blesses and Loves Unendlessly.
p.s. I’ll write something to follow up what this No Make up talk is about… later.
Peace for now.
