We went out in the morning for a prayer walk around town and at the police station. When we get there I was walking with Jenn. We pray over the city and some other things. But there was a boy that kinda followed me. I thought he was about 8. His name is Mackenzie and he is 12. He was dropped off by his mom to his mom’s friends house and when the friend realized the she wasn’t coming back she kicked him out on the street in a neighboring town. Somehow he got to Jacmel and now sleeps outside next to the police station. Thankfully the police feed him leftovers from their meals at work. I asked if he had friends, he said no. I asked if he had siblings, he said he does but he wouldn’t recognize them if he saw them. There was such sadness in his eyes. He was on the brink of tears the entire time but I know he didn’t want to cry. There were a couple of boys around and grown men everywhere… culturally not often do men cry. Ever. I asked if he knew Jesus. He said, “no.” This took my breath away. Literally. I didn’t know what to say. I said out loud “God give me the words” then Jenn stepped into the conversation and talked about the God who made this world is the God that sent Jesus to be our friend and someone we can go to. I picked up on that and talked more to him. Jenn prayed for him from behind. I gave him a bible asked if he knows how to read… I don’t think he does… he was happy… I gave him some gum and a pen. All I had on me. The poor boy…
I called down the angels to come protect him. Especially at night. I prayed that he would somehow know how to read the bible and that this could be a testimony to God’s greatness later in life for him. I prayed that he felt the Love of God, that he was filled when he is hungry and comforted when he is scared. I prayed that God would put someone in his path that would take him in. I prayed that he would be a blessing to the one you sent to care for him. Lord. His eyes were so empty. They were so tired and lost. Father, give life and light to him. Illuminate his eyes, his heart. Lord, My prayer…
later that afternoon… we go back to an area we were in the previous day. We put on the service and there were a lot of people there. It went sooo well. People weren’t laughing and mocking us this time. After the service was over we asked if people would like prayer. I was sitting back and playing with a beautiful little girl… a little chunky one. She was freaking adorable. And she loved me… hugged me and gave me kisses, kinda. She was about 1. Where the crowd of people were there was a couple of us (teammates) praying. We had about 4-5 translators so it gets to be hard to wait and find people that want prayer. I chose to put myself out there. I walked over to the crowd and joined prayer with Rebecca and Steph they were praying for a lady in green. They were both wearing green. I was wearing pink. So was she… A man approached me and our translator Lukenson. He wanted prayer. I have been noticing that God does lead us to who to pray for. I did not feel led to pray for him. That sounds bad, but it would have done half hearted… or maybe even heartless. I have been praying for God to give me His heart. “break my heart for what breaks Yours” and then I saw her. Julie. I walked up to her and asked if she wanted prayer. She nodded yes. I grabbed Amos (our ministry contact and translator) I asked what she wanted prayer for. She said her problems. I felt her despair. What were her problems? She said she has no where to stay. She came into town to find a job. I asked if she had children. She said yes, 4 of them. BUT, she had to give them to an orphanage because she couldn’t care for them. AHHH! LORD. What are You doing to me. My HEART was in pain. And it still is when I type this. Tears ran down her face. I wiped them away. I said to her that my heart breaks for hers. She said her husband died and was left with nothing. She felt like she was going crazy. Her name is Julie. GOD. I can’t help her. I only have prayers. Is that what You want from me? PLEASE let her know You are with her. Peace and rest to her heart. Let her children know she loves them and that they were not abandoned… they are not rejected. She is so sad. She knows of You Jesus. Make Yourself intimately known to her. Rebecca and Steph came over and were behind me praying. They didn’t really know the conversation but they felt her heart too. After praying for her. I hugged her and walked away a bit wiped out by what rested on my heart. I laid it at the foot of the cross… and had to help the other girls do the same. She’s God’s child and her pain is not to be ours. Her hurt is to be given to Jesus. This is what He died for.
It’s really hard to feel peoples hearts and have to walk away and trust that there was a reason I was put here. It must be to intercede on their behalf and bring them to the love of the Lord. It’s hard to let that go, to give up their pain to our God. Not hard that we don’t trust God wants it. Just hard that we carried it for a bit and hard to realize we can’t do ANYTHING else for them. In our human ways. There is NOTHING. That is why our strength comes from God. It’s not possible to put yourself in these situations and come out functioning. To boldly step out in faith to submit yourself to so many new situations, knowing full well it’s going to be tough. Listening to God’s voice is imperative to this process.
Lord, I pray that I continue to hear your voice. That is that I don’t drown it out with my noise. Help me to be of use to Your children. No matter where they are, how old they are, or anything else. Lord, Your kingdom come, You’re will be done. Father this is all of You and None of me… it has to be if You want to make this work. For me to work. Let me feel You and in return feel their hearts.
In the Powerful Name of Jesus.
Amen.
