In less than 5 days, I'll be back in America! Currently sitting in the Philippines trying to process through this last year, knowing I am pretty slow at it. These past few weeks have been bittersweet thats for sure. I don't really know where to begin to write a final blog, but this is it, and it's pretty scattered.
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From the INDIAN TRAIN RIDES ( i could write countless blogs about these ha!)……….to the bars of Thailand, fields of Moldova, and the middle of no-where places in Africa, the Lord has shown me new sides of his face and his glory. He has given me precious moments with himself, and his people that I will never ever forget. He has poured out his never ending love and grace. He has blessed me with life long friends, taught me how to live in community, and grown my heart in ways I don't even know yet.
I am so thankful.
I'm leaving this race and season more broken and undone than when I started. I am desperate for the Lord. He has me in a new place of complete trust right now, different than the times of trusting this year. A place so uncertain of my future or even the next day. This is a hard and at times, painful place to be…. but still so good. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have no idea what I am doing after the race. But I will wait. I will trust, knowing that my Father knows best. He's got something beautiful planned.
I do know that He has given me a heart for the poor and addicted among other things. I know that he says, SEEK FIRST the KINGDOM. I know that I am in LOVE with Jesus. I know that he alone satisfies. So Lord, I run to your feet again …show me your way. You are the only way.
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Jesus has been my constant through this race. He has been the faithful one, when I have been unfaithful. My friend, the one that calls us HIS FRIEND! I have definately gone through the high and dry times this year, but he always proves faithful. He is everlasting.
I am brought back to one of the verses that penetrated my heart in Sept. of 2010 and was also our XSquad verse. 23" Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it." Luke 9:23-24
Keep losing your life and you will find more of ME Rachel….this is just the beginning.
He truly is all that I need and want.
Some might say that we have sacrificed a lot this year. But really, Jesus did all of that on the cross. This is what I get to be apart of now. The something "more" that he wants for his Church. God loves us so much!!!
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Going home is alot harder than I ever thought it would be, especially looking back to month 3 and 5 when I was physically sick/homesick and wanted to peace out . Don't get me wrong, I have been playing over and over in my head what it will be like in the Minneapolis airport when I see my family. I cannot wait. I am going to freak out. But living day to day in our American culture seems just weird to me, and will take some time getting used to, along with not seeing my fellow squadmates daily. I think I am ready though=)
This year has been such a gift and privilege. I can't thank you enough for all your prayer and financial support as you ran this race with me. I am so honored to serve the living God, with you, and bring His truth and Kingdom to so many people around the world.
I would love to see you! So if you ever want to meet up for coffee, send me an email at [email protected] or wait….. I actually will have a phone now so gimme a call!
Please keep me in your prayers as I transition and seek direction.
I'll keep ya updated on what is to come.
Peace and Love in Jesus
Rachel
"Because your love is better than life, my lips will praise you." -Psalm 63:3
last day of ministry at the nursery
