Confession: I was terrified to go to Training Camp. You would be too if you believed you were going to meet 50 new people that probably weren’t going to like you. People with whom you’d be spending 11 months sharing life, traveling, doing ministry and being vulnerable.
That sounds ridiculous now, but I was really telling myself that. I told myself I sucked at first impressions. Excuses flooded my mind about how no one ever likes me at first and that I need to do something or prove my worth to earn their approval. I even shared this fear with someone that I trust and love a lot. He told me I was being ridiculous and not to worry, but these kinds of lies are often hard to break.
I was so worried about what my squad mates would think of me. They’ll probably all think I’m too quiet. They’re going to think I’m too young or too boring. What if they judge me when they find out I’ve hidden a big part of my life from them…
The Holy Spirit moved at Training Camp and God began replacing all kinds of lies in my life with His Truth. God told me ‘You are my child and that is enough.’
Once I really began to believe this truth, I was free. God defines my identity. I no longer have to live as if I’m apologizing for who God made me to be.
I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God!
It’s okay that I’m not loud and that making 50 new best friends doesn’t come easily for me. Being an introvert doesn’t have to be a weakness and being an extrovert is not a requirement for learning to love people well.
When you start seeing yourself as Jesus sees you, it’s a lot easier to see other people like Jesus sees them. Allowing God to define my identity allowed me to freely get to know 50 of the most amazing, Jesus-loving adventurers that I’ve ever encountered. It’s remarkable how quickly a group of strangers can turn into a family. Through crazy sleeping situations, bucket showers, campfire worship, dance offs, porta-potties, sharing mystery foods, lots of sweat, and plenty of prayer.
Shout out to my Z squad family. You all loved me better than I ever could have expected. I cannot wait to travel, serve, learn, and grow with y’all over the next 11 months! I don’t know what your first impressions of me were, but I’m realizing that it really doesn’t matter. We’re all works in progress and I loved watching Jesus work in everyone’s lives in such different ways through the 10 days of Training Camp.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far! I am so grateful for every single one of you. I am still about $2000 away from being fully funded, so please consider supporting me and helping me reach my goal before leaving on September 5th. Only 40 more days before I’m off on this crazy adventure!
