Have I gone crazy?
This is a question I have asked myself many times over the past 2 months. I am quitting my job that I adore, moving out of a house that has become my home, leaving my best friends and the scariest- leaving my family who I love more that words can explain. If you know me well then you know how much I love my family and how much time I spend with them. They have always come first in my life. So what am I thinking??? I am going to leave everything I know and love to live out of a backpack for 11 months. We can all laugh about this little fashionista living out of a backpack. Well… I know that I’m not crazy and the World Race is just the next chapter in my life. Is it going to be hard? Oh yes! Am I going to miss home? Definitely. Are there going to be times when I wish I had never gone? Probably. Am I scared to death? Um… yes! But I know without a doubt that this is the plan that God has for me and I could not be more excited about it. I feel a peace about the race that I’m not sure I have ever felt about any other decision I have made in my life.
God has been amazing throughout this decision making journey … but isn’t He always amazing? In my moments of doubt, God never left my side. In my moments of tears, I always felt a comfort. In my moments of pure joy and excitement, I felt encouraged. One of my favorite God moments during this process happened on my drive to work. If you followed my Philippines blog then you already know that God speaks to me through music. So anyways, I was driving down 400 and talking to God. I said “If this is truly what you want me to do with my life then I will follow You. I just need a throw in my face yes.” Well, as soon as I said those words these are the song lyrics I heard on the radio “When You lead, I’ll follow. Just light the way and I’ll go. Cause I know what You got for me is more than I can see.” I mean… can He make it any more obvious?
Some people might ask, if it is going to be so hard then why are you going? This is my answer, God has asked me to follow Him and give up complete independence for complete dependence on Him and I told Him that I would follow. I mean He is asking me to go out into the world and do 2 things that I love in life: helping others and travel. In order to do these things then I am going to have to sacrifice about 100 other things for 11 months. But hey, didn’t He sacrifice His Son so that we may have life? How could I not go?
