The screams were what I heard first. As Jessica, Krystle and
I walked toward the room where we would be feeding the mentally and physically disabled,
I started wondering what we were walking into.
We were lead down a
dark hallway, and I suddenly realized that there was no turning back.
As we entered the main area of Mother Teresa’s Home for the
Disabled, my first thought was, ‘there are so many people!’
Did you know that Mother Teresa built a home for the disabled in Nairobi, Kenya? I didn’t until we were told in the car on the way there.
When I get back to the States, I want to go to nursing school.
I think blood and wounds are cool.
I can clean up any substance besides vomit (though I have been working on that).
And yet, feeding these children was one of the most uncomfortable things I have done on the Race.
It is not like it was dirty. None of them threw up on me.
But walking into that home, moving my arms and legs, speaking with no difficulty made me feel…guilty.
Here were these beautiful children, disfigured and sick, mentally handicapped and disturbed…
And I was ‘normal’.
(This is Sarah. She loves giving high fives.)
I wondered if it made them mad.
I know when I was in a wheelchair in 2008 after my car accident, seeing other people walking around so easily made me so angry.
It was almost like they were mocking me (though I knew they weren’t).
So, sitting in front of these children, holding their hands, trying to shine love through my discomfort, feeding them like babies…
It honesty made me question God.
I know things like this happen. I know that there are so many factors to having a healthy child, and that if even one chemical reaction goes wrong that that child could be permanently damaged.
But knowing those facts and sitting in front of the humans they effect are two different realities.
My life was shaken that day.
I had somehow become comfortable with life on the Race. With my Christian life in general. I love this trip, I love the crazy things that happen to us. I love sharing the love of Christ with everyone and anyone around the world.
But seeing the suffering that day was like a cold slap to the face.
I was reminded that sin is slowly destroying this world.
That suffering is a (sadly) normal, everyday part of billions of lives around the earth.
But what am I doing about it?
Please go on to Part 2 🙂
