I'm not writing this out of a place of sorrow or dispair but from a deeper understanding of what the scriptures mean when we are instructed to give up our lives.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:31 "…I die daily" proving to me that this is not a one time commitment but a daily choice. To live for the Lord is something that I need to be reminded of constantly. HE (God) asks us for a sacrafice. Forsaking all that we have for all that HE has (believe me this is the better choice)
I know now, more than I ever have, what God is asking for when He asks us to sacrafice. He isn't asking for me to give up a life consumed by drunken parties, promiscuity, greed or any other endless list of "the bad sins" that I can think of. Its not the list of don'ts. Its everything. He is asking me for EVERYTHING.
My yesterdays, my today, my tomorrow. To give up my life totally, completely surrendered to HIS will.
If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it
Matthew 10:39
I gave a friend some bad advice. He was having a hard time with the idea of pursing a new women because of past feelings of rejection and hurts. He was afraid of a repeat. I said
"DUDE, stop thinking about what it will cost you and think about what you could gain!"
He said " No, Rachel the Bible tells us to count the cost." This is in regards to following Christ, but he explained to me how he carries it through all of his important decisions. I think if he would count the cost, he would find that love is definitely worth it, but he still challanged me.
So, before I leave and "give up" a year of my life I have decided to count the cost:
I give up my family for a group of strangers that will become my brothers and sisters
I give up my close friends for communion with what we consider undesirable, unloved, forgotten, outcast.
I give up the pursuit of my dreams for Gods dream for me, which is bigger than I could imagine.
I give up my comforts, physical and emotional, for a closer relationship with "the comforter"
(John 15:26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me" )
This list could go on and on, and I could bore you with everyone and everything I will leave behind to press forward, but I wont. The list of what this year has cost me will probably look completely different in July of 2013. Infact it might look completely different this august! But whatever the cost, I know that this is worth it. I'm sure by the worlds standards the costs are immeasurable, but the cost is NOTHING when you understand the value of what is to be gained. (matthew 13:44- go read it, seriously.)
The cost is my life. My life is not my own. Like Paul, I choose to die to myself.
" I consider my life worth nothing to me: my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus have given me- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace"
Acts 20:24
