I have been sitting on writing this blog for weeks. I don’t want to write it nor do I know how to write it. It is a confession. A confession not only to you, but to myself. It is something that scares the hell out of me and I am ashamed of, but something I battle on a daily basis. It is something that I am beginning to understand that I have to face it, acknowledge it, and only then do I have any hope of overcoming.
Hi, my name is Rachel, and I struggle with depression.
Wow, that felt good to get off of my chest. Why is it that we find so much shame in that term? Why is it that it is so hard to admit? I honestly don’t know. But I do know that once I actually admitted that it was a daily battle that I fight, once I admitted that it was something of today and not just a phantom of my past, once I finally opened up to the Godly men and women around me it was then that God began to show me the way out. He used them to love me and carry me through the bad days, and He still is using them. It is crazy good!
So here is my confession: I battle depression on a daily basis. I have good days and bad days, never know when it will hit. There is no constant except for the friends that surround me and love me the way the Father intended. It has been really cool to see God teach me through it. Teaching me about love and hope and teaching me about perseverance and strength through Him. He is teaching me joy through my depression, didn’t see that coming…
Weird, that was easier than I expected. Suddenly it doesn’t seem so daunting.
Thank you to my friends and team mates who have loved and fought for me. For not giving up even when I had. I am blessed.
