38 people. 1 small house.
Think Home Alone at the beginning when they are getting ready. Piles of shoes lined up at the door, everybody rushing around to get ready at the same time, one kitchen that never seems big enough for all of us at the same time, clothes hung up to dry just about everywhere, two guitars constantly being played by everybody and their mother, evenings consisting of card games, laughter, dance parties and deep conversations.
This is life in Romania. All the time.
God is stretching me in many ways this month. The first way is through community. To be honest, I was not looking forward to this month. My mindset was to simply get through the month. I thought to myself, “How on earth could living with THAT many people be fun?” Some of you are thinking the opposite: “A constant party with awesome people for a whole month? Sign me up!” For me though, I was not looking forward to all squad month.
You see, for me it would be much easier to crawl into my bunk and read, journal, watch a movie or even have another quiet time just to get away from people. I’ve been pondering the question of why. Why do I struggle with being around large groups of people? I believe the root of this is insecurity, specifically with my personality. I’ve given into this lie over the years that nobody likes being around introverts. I think because growing up and even now I see people flock towards those with bubbly, spirited, outgoing personas. What is there to like about me? Someone who is less outgoing, more shy, quiet and reserved?
I do not share this struggle to receive words of affirmation (it’s not my top love language anyways), but to share with you what God is doing in my heart. I may not be the type of person who thrives off of people and the energy they bring, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still get to know people. I’ve made a goal this month to be intentional about getting to know other people on my squad besides my teammates. It’s been incredible. Relationships are forming and memories are being made. Isn’t this the life God called us to step into? One with intentional, REAL relationships? I’m learning how to live in this kind of community. Seriously, when ya’ll hear me repeatedly say the word ‘intentional’ when I get home, it’s because I’m learning intentionality is what spurts us forward into life worth living.
Another area God is stretching me in is being present in ministry. If I’m being honest (again), my heart longs for and misses Bulgaria. We had a great first month, and my heart was totally invested. Coming to Romania has been great, but it hasn’t felt like home the way Bulgaria did. The ministry my team is doing here in Dragonesti is different everyday and atypical. I’m doing things that don’t “feel” like ministry; things like kitchen cleaning, helping prepare bees for winter, and sitting at a computer for hours organizing pictures into folders. My heart wants to be serving in “bigger” ways, but God is teaching me the value of serving in the little ways which in reality are big ways.
It’s funny because during my time in Africa, God was teaching me this same exact thing: ministry is often in the little things. I’ve been in this position time and time again, but yet my heart hasn’t truly grasped that bringing the kingdom of heaven here on earth means serving wherever there is a need. The need might be doing somebody’s dishes so they can nap and feel refreshed. Maybe you’re feeling like you’re service isn’t making a huge difference. After talking with our ministry host, I am convinced whenever we offer our time in service to others, it doesn’t matter how we serve; the receivers of our time are blessed by it.
How you can pray:
For God to strip me of any expectations I may carry from one country to the next; that I would have a heart that truly wants to invest in each and every country. Pray for me to be present in ministry and not look forwards or backwards.
