I already got too much stuff in my pack, I can't carry anything else.
Carrying other people's burdens. This is something I've struggled with my whole life, but especially in positions of leadership. I attempt to take responsibility for others' emotional well-being. That's truly caring for them, right? So it would seem, but not really.
Let's lighten the load a little bit.
Before coming on the race, a previous World Racer gave me some valuable advice about leadership. He said that my job isn't to carry my team emotionally. That my job is to seek Christ, and then follow what He says to do. That I don't need to live up to others' expectations of what I should be doing, or what they think leadership should look like. That how much individuals on my team are growing spiritually or emotionally doesn't rest on my shoulders. That I can encourage others to grow closer in their walk with Christ, but it is not my responsibility to change their hearts.
That's some good stuff, right? I thought that because I heard these things before going on the race, I wouldn't struggle with them while I was out on the field. I came to launch with a new perspective on leadership, and I thought that that perspective would be conveyed in my actions. Isn't that what happened? Not even a little bit. Something we learned at launch was how to do feedback, which is a time where team members speak identity in Christ over other members on the team. The purpose of this time is for us to grow in Christ, because most of the time we have a very narrow, specific view of ourselves. We usually can't see the things in ourselves that we need to work on the most. During this time, one of the feedback sessions was for every team member to give feedback to the team leader. Nothing like being put in the hot seat, right?
Feedback.
As I listened to the feedback each person on my team had for me, a theme came about from their words. I was carrying the burdens of everyone on my team. As they were all talking, my heart sank a little more each time I heard the same thing. I thought I had this all figured out before I left for the race, what the heck happened? I realized that head knowledge is completely different from heart knowledge. Even though I knew in my head what to do, my heart still reverted back to past struggles of carrying others' burdens.
So the main point is…
I have questioned God many, many times as to why I am in a position of leadership, and I'm sure I'll ask Him a few more times while I'm on the Race. In spite of this, Christ has been revealing to me that during this journey, He is in the process of delivering me from this struggle of bearing others' burdens while in leadership. He wants me to set my eyes on Him in order to love others with His love, as opposed to my own love. He wants me to hear His voice and follow where He leads, as opposed to following my own path. He wants me to lift others up and relinquish control of worrying about them, as opposed to me attempting to change who they are.
My challenge to you is this. Will you choose to shed this burden, and allow Christ to show you what true freedom in Him really means?
Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
