The worst you have to lose is your life…. and that’s not going to happen from writing a poem, so just do it.
Herman Haan was our teacher the second week of classes here at G42 and it has been one of the most challenging and stretching weeks since I’ve been here. He started our first session, by saying. “I am here for the unexpected thing, the unexpected question. I like to make war with you; to make you do what you fear or do not like to do.”
Herman is an artist, writer, chef, winemaker, film producer, travel journalist, reporter, pastor and author. His resume is incredible and his testimony is even better. He is the type of person that gets an idea and does it immediately- He doesn’t waste time. He has vision or an idea for something and sees it through to the every end. I am the type of person that gets an idea, waits, then gets another idea, waits, and another, waits and then when I finally sit down to accomplish something I feel overwhelmed by the mass of unfinished projects and ideas to tackle.
God gives us ideas, gifts, talents, relationships and circumstances in order for us to do something and I’ve realized if I keep pushing them off until tomorrow I am going to look back when I’m 60, with my long list of to-do’s in hand and weep that I wasted too many todays.
My grandma Jeanine is one of my very best friends and she says whatever is on her mind. Sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes it’s hard to hear, but almost every time it’s needed. She once said to me, “When I turned 50 I realized I’m 50, I may be halfway through my life and I should say what’s on mind while I still have time.” I don’t want to wait until I’m 50 to act on that revelation. I want to say and do the things on my heart now and look back on my life without regrets.
I was at a play tryout this past weekend with one of my friends here in Mijas who is ten years old. She is an amazing singer, dancer, entrepreneur, cook and gorgeous to boot. She could seriously be the next Kate Moss or Emma Watson (insert other famous celebrity here). This was her first play tryout as well and she was super nervous. She kept asking me how I could stay so calm and I told her that the worst that could happen was that they tell me no, I wasn’t going to die, it wasn’t going to ruin my life, but it could be the first time I was in a play- so it was worth it. I then sang the little mermaid, “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat…”as I danced down the street in front of passerbyers. Her sister Gabs hid, because I was embarrassing her and Em laughed.
Honestly I had butterflies in my stomach, but I’m tired of worrying what others think. I don’t want to insult/or offend others, but I also refuse to sacrifice who I am in order to people please or for fear of others thoughts about me anymore.
After the play tryout I looked at Em and said, ” We both just tried out for our first play together. You’re doing it 15 years ahead of me. Keep doing the things you want to now, don’t put them off. I’ve got a lot of checking off on my bucket list to do. You’ve got quite the head start on me.”
I think anyone would tell you that they would rather have lived out their dreams and been embarrassed or failed a few times than lived their entire lives safe and not accomplished anything great. Unfortunately, not many people act on it. We have a fear of failure that needs to get chucked out the window, because if we don’t ever fail- we will never really know success.
Herman carries with him the unexpected. He provoked questions, desires, dreams, and fears we had through the week and honestly pushed even me outside of my comfort zone. He opened my mind to a different way of thinking, to a different kind of creativity and quite simply to Just do it. I can talk about writing a book, performing spoken word/poetry, opening a cafe, yada yada yada, but what I need to do is pick what I can do right now and do it. It may not be great my first attempt, it may not turn out at all how I expected, but I’ll never get it right nor will I ever figure out who I am and what i was called to do without a trail of failures so that I can measure and appreciate success.
What is it that you have put on the back burner? Pull out your to-do list and today finish at least one, maybe two or three, but pick something and see it through to the end. No more excuses, no more wasted opportunities, talents or resources. It’s okay if you don’t know what you are doing, It’s okay if you fail- in fact it’s great. I hope your failures drive you to figure things out, to try things again, and again and third times a charm. My prayer for you is that no one, no obstacle, no fear would stop you from truly living.
