Endurance Part 2:
As the spirit increases in my life, I want evidence of the Holy Spirit to show through how I live. My team and I sat in the grass waiting, waiting and waiting some more for our contacts to take us on an impromptu, unscheduled house visit after we had already been in church for the last 3 1/2 hours… As we sat their waiting I wondered how I could be so much more tired now in month 8 than I was the start of the race? We have more free time in the day now than we did in month 1 when we were constantly going going going. And how come in month 1 when more ministry opportunities came up I jumped for them, and here my first response is a sigh, and then I’m hungry.. and then “wait rachael, this is more important.” I want my first response to be Joy. I want to continually decrease this year as the spirit increases in my life, because the flesh is weak, and I want to be spirit driven.
I was tired earlier in the week too. It had been a really long day. House visits from 11 until 2:30, and then we were supposed to go home for lunch and then have a house church meeting at 6 pm. The morning had been spent working out, some people washing laundry, and having quiet time. House visits really pull it out of you. Beyond the walking and the heat of the day, every moment sharing about Jesus, your spirit is battling. You are battling in the spiritual even though in the flesh you may just be sitting on a bench. And the more your heart is in it, the more you are laboring for the Lord, the harder the enemy attacks. So this day in particular I had really felt the spirit as I spoke. I had seen him move in several peoples lives. He had brought me to tears, and it was like I could feel me insides shaking. So when we came back to the church to meet up with everyone and walk home, my mind had already checked out to rest. All I was thinking of was something to put in my tummy and a nap before our next meeting. God had other plans for me. Plans to test my endurance. A test to see if I would push through and depend on him or check out.
We were waiting for Liliana to come join us for the walk home, and she came back from speaking to Rosemary looking nervous. “Umm guys, actually we will be coming back here at 3:30 to talk to the students..” she said. Our immediate responses to her:
” well what about lunch?”
“that’s not a long break!”
“this wasn’t in the plan before”
“and we have cell groups tonight still?”
**sighs all around**
We decided we would still go to the house and get lunch. “Alright Rachael,” I thought, “Everyone is clearly tired, and ready to be home. I’m so tired I feel like I’m going to fall asleep walking, but clearly the Lord wants us to be there, so we need to get together and pray for energy. We need to choose Joy. Choose Him. ” I stopped everyone, and said “Hey, lets just grab quick chapati and banana for lunch, so we can go rest in the grass, and I’ll make everyone a really yummy dinner tonight after the bible study? Cool?” So that’s what we did. We walked across the street and grabbed some chapati, they are a mere 300 ugandan shillings, and a banana and made banana wraps.. cheap efficient. We are back to the school in a couple of minutes,and pray together.
“Lord, we’re really tired, we’re a little frustrated, and we don’t know what we are even going to talk about with these kids, but we trust you. We pray you would give us abundant energy. That you would give us a Joy to be here, that you would provide divine appointments, and just make this time fruitful and honoring for you. We are here, and we need you. Amen”
We all sit down in the grass to wait for the students to be released. Sitting turns into lying down in the grass, which then turns into me completely passed out in the front lawn. I am pretty notorious for falling asleep anytime anywhere. I wake up to about 50 ugandan teenagers staring down at me who then burst out giggling as I try and pull myself up and get coherent. Rosemary tells them a little bit about why we are here in Uganda, and then goes around and gets all of their names. They are super shy. We decide to divide them into three groups with 2 of us each and just talk to them and allow them to ask any questions they may have for us. Liliana and I are in the first group with Rosemary, and Lil asks if any of them are “born again believers?” A couple girls on the left raise their hands, but no one else out of our group of about 15 students. “Okay- well for you girls, what do you tell people when they ask about the HOPE you have? About why you live differently?” The girls look a little confused. “As Christian’s the Lord has given us new life, he gives us Joy. That’s why we’re here, to share with you all Christ has done, and is doing.” As I’m sitting there listening to Lil, I hear the spirit speak:
” Tell them about the Spirit I’ve given you and offer them. It is not a spirit of fear, but of boldness. Tell the ones who don’t know me. That my Spirit is one of royalty, one of not just talk, but of Power, one that will work in their lives to do greater things than you know Jesus did…” and so I tell them just that.
From there the Spirit spoke a lot, back and forth Lil and I encouraged them about who the Spirit was, what it meant to walk out this Christian life, that it all stems from our relationship with the Father. We talked about (Matt 5: 13-16)
” You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost it’s flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly father.”
“My inheritance is Royalty. I have nothing to be afraid of. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I commune with the creator of heaven and earth. The most high God. That is the coolest thing ever, a blessing. Why would I hide it. Why wouldn’t I want to share that with everyone I come in contact with? I’d be selfish if I didn’t. That’s what we want to share with you guys. He offers you the same invitation. it’s a free gift that Jesus came and died on the cross for our sins so that we could have eternal life with the Father. So that life to the fullest could start here on earth, and He would be here with us, through it all. That we can see heaven invade earth through the power of his Spirit.” I explained.
One boy to my right looked so curious, like he was just itching to ask a question.
“Do you have a question?” I asked.
“Yea, so what exactly do we do through the Spirit if He is in us?” he asked.
“Well, I can tell you what he has done in my life. He has encouraged me, he has given me energy when I feel I can’t go on. He has given me words of knowledge for people I have never met before, to be able to encourage them. He has given me visions, used me to pray for people to give gifts of healing. He has spoken to me through prophetic dreams, and he constantly gives me the words to speak when I have none… he does so much more. Those are just some of my experiences. He is capable of anything.”
He looked excited, yet pensive and still extremely curious. We had some of the girls who were already believers ask us several questions as well. Like:
” Can you go to church as a woman believer when you are on your period?”
Awkward for you to read? Well it was awkward sitting there too, especially after our contact Rosemary asked her to repeat the question several times, and then gave her an in depth answer. In all honesty I was still distracted by this really curious boy, his name is Emmanuel, Emma for short. The last question we took was from another believer, and she was asking what movies were okay to watch, and if you knew it was not a good movie if you could watch it as long as you asked for forgiveness afterwards? It made my insides churn.
This is why believers today don’t understand the Spirit. Because our focus has become so much on right and wrong, and what we can get away with. About always pushing the line. So we told them, it’s about the conviction of your heart. It’s about listening to the spirit, and choosing what is beneficial and drawing you closer to the Lord not leading you away from him. If you watch a movie you already think you will have to ask for forgiveness from, then that’s not true repentance, because true repentance is turning and running the complete opposite direction from what you were doing. That’s what Jesus came back to abolish was a religious mindset. He came to set things straight that it was about relationship. That’s why he didn’t give a list of do’s and don’ts, but said “Love the Lord your God above all else, and Love your neighbor as yourself.” The greatest commandment you can follow is Love.
Are we loving the Lord in the decisions we are making?
Simple, but really hard, because we are inclined to be selfish. The Lord has revealed to me how selfish I am more times than I can count this year alone. We all stood together and prayed, and then released them to go home.
I could see Emma hanging around, and I immediately went and sat down and asked him to join me.
“You have more questions don’t you?”
“Yes.” He said.
“Well you can ask me absolutely anything, and I will try to answer it the best I can for you. Here lets go for a walk.”
We walked across the school yard and sat down beside one of the classrooms away from the rest of the students.
He asked me, “Do I need to be baptized before of after I ask the Spirit of God into my heart?”
My heart skipped a beat, I got a cheesy ear to ear grin on my face and I gave him a hug.
“Being baptized is something you do after you have accepted Jesus in your heart. It is a public sign to the community around you that you have been born again, and have the spirit of the living God inside of you.”
“Alright, now how do I join God’s family? he asked me. I started to tear up.
“Romans says when we believe with our heart and confess with our mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord we are saved. Once we are saved nothing can separate us from his love. It’s personal, and intimate Emma. The Lord knows your heart, and loves your voice. So however you want to express to the Lord that you want him in your heart, and to be the savior in your life is up to you. You can say it in few words or many, all are acceptable to him.”
“Okay, I’m ready.” he said and bowed his head.
“I’ll pray for you and with you in agreement, but you just talk to the Lord, okay? I told him.
I prayed for boldness and Joy over Emma. I prayed he would know his worth, and his identity as royalty, as son of the most high God. I prayed he would have abundant faith that believed God at his word, and sought him in Spirit. I prayed the Lord would speak to him audibly, through visions and dreams. I prayed his life would be invaded by the Spirit. That he would lead a generation to come; His people here in Uganda. Lord make his life marked by Love. That people would see he was different. That he is a light in the darkness. Then I stopped and heads bowed, I heard Emma whispering to the Lord- speaking to his papa. Joining the family of God, and receiving the Spirit in his life.
It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. It was one of the best days I have ever had on the race. And it happened on a day I was ready to be done. A day I had already checked out. it happened in a ministry setting I wasn’t thrilled at being at, but I asked for the Lord to give me energy, and I wasn’t tired, not one time while talking to the students. I asked him to give me Joy and divine appointments, and he provided Emma, a heart desiring to know him, just waiting to hear the Lord speak. “If you are willing Rachael, I will use you.” God tells me. Man I love being used by the Lord!
I gave Emma another hug and we walked back over to the pastor. He wanted to be baptized right away. Selfishly, I wanted to be there when he was. He was okay with that, he wants me to be a part. Emma is 15 years old. He has his whole life ahead of him; A new life- that the Lord has amazing plans for. He is hungry, and I can’t wait to hear about the incredible things the Lord does through him.
The Lord could have easily used anyone else to reach Emma that day, but he loves to use us when we are willing. He loves when we choose him. He loves when we don’t know what to do and we turn to him instead of trying to do out of our own strength or understanding. He is faithful to provide, and he is faithful to increase. He has given me this gift. Emma was my gift. A gift to remember to depend on him when I feel I am at my end, because those are the things I prayed to do. I prayed for things that were bigger than myself where God has to show up or it can’t be accomplished. I am Hoping with expectancy for more of these moments. I shared this with my team, and we are encouraging each other to be present moments we are so ready to give up.
These next three and a half months are going to be full of “Emma’s”.
Me, Emma, and Liliana
