A great Dr. once said “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
It seems as if Seuss is encouraging his patients to be unafraid to embrace who they are and who they were made to be. This can prove difficult to do in today’s western Christian culture. And it seems to be the Christians themselves who perpetuate this homogeny. I mean, sure, you probably won’t see someone who has encountered the love of Christ and who is walking fully in that freedom snorting heroin on a Tuesday or waking up In a new bed every night, but we are all created unique with different gifts and life experience…so why would we all look the same?
It is easy to mold to the group you are hanging around. Heck, I watch enough Downton Abbey and I notice my vernacular gets more Victorian and I am all of the sudden way more into afternoon tea. If my friend’s football team is losing, I become indiscriminately angry at fans of the opposing team because they are obviously evil and know nothing about scoring goals. I am at church and someone I deeply respect touches his head during worship and, without realizing that he just had an itch, I now find myself touching my head during worship for the next few weeks.
Dowager Curtis disapproves of you using sugar in your tea.
It happens. And it’s not a bad thing until it becomes a standard of measurement for Christian-ness and fodder for judgement. Each of our relationships with Christ is unique. Maybe He and I go to coffee and the movies while you and He go on long walks along the beach. Maybe He’s asked me to go do some crazy stuff in crazy places and He’s asked you to live in the suburbs and create some really great people who will contribute to society. Maybe I talk to Him throughout the day with my eyes open, maybe you talk to him on your knees with your eyes shut tight for an hour every morning. One is not better, they are just different.
Anyway, this all came to mind as I thought back on the Training Camp a couple of weeks ago and thought about the upcoming year serving around the world with a group of believers who all have different ways and expressions of walking out their faith.
Even before Training Camp, every Racer took a Myers Briggs personality test. It is a test that gives a pretty clear picture of how a person operates (i.e. how they relate to people, how they make decisions, how they communicate…etc…) and how they get along with other personality types. If you need/care to get more info on what it is click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
Anyway, I took the test for about the 6th time in my life and got the same result: Extrovert, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving: E-N-F-P.
Us ENFP-ers are described as talkative, gregarious, with a strong desire to be liked and a strong draw to be around others (among other things). Basically PEOPLEPEOPLEPEOPLE all the time. So, at a camp full of mostly introverted people, it was easy to have some concerns about the upcoming year. I mean, how many people am I going to talk to death?
I’m also a person who pretty much says exactly what they’re thinking, whose words fall out of her face before they filter through her brain, who constantly asks questions and who is not quick to accept something just because it’s new and exciting and somebody brilliant said it. Think House without the genius.
And maybe without the Vicodin.
As amazing of an experience as Training Camp was and as much as I felt like it was confirmation of being exactly where I’m meant to be, I didn’t have the earth-shattering, faith-rocking experience that some others did. There were times when I fell asleep when we were supposed to be listening to the Lord. During major worship sessions, I felt the supernatural peace and presence of God that I’ve felt before, but was not jumping up and down or falling on my face shaking with joy and tears. I didn’t get a word from the Holy Spirit for the person in front of me when we were “supposed” to. A big bug tried to attack me and I cussed at it. When the preacher at the front started shouting and crying, I put my name-tag behind my back and avoided eye contact as I looked at my watch and thought that all this emotion probably meant a longer session than if he’d just done his regular talk.
Here’s the thing. That stuff is all valid. The Holy Spirit totally rocked people’s worlds that night. People were getting free from things and experiencing something of the Lord that will probably change the course of their entire life. And that’s awesome.
Here’s the other thing: You are not less of a Christian or less holy if you are not one of those people. You are not less loved by God if you don’t use Christian lingo, if you don’t pray for the person in the wheelchair at Walmart, if you’re not moved by the latest Christian pop song, if a fellow believer annoys the crap out of you, or if you find certain aspects of Christian culture to play out much like an SNL skit.
Speaking of which, here’s a good one.
I recently had a conversation with a like-minded and like-wired friend who just got back from a 6-month trip serving with YWAM. When I asked her how she handled not necessarily fitting the mold of the culture of the organization, she gave me some very encouraging words.
She told me that the Lord used what she was good at and will do the same with me. Simple, yet profound.
The way you are wired is the way you are wired for a reason. You’ve got a job to do that’s been prepared for someone with just your qualifications. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10
So I am embracing my ENFPness. I am going out into the world armed with reality, friendliness and a sincere interest in wanting to know people. Maybe I will find myself flat on my back in tears in worship, maybe I won’t. Maybe I will pray for someone’s healing and see it happen, maybe not. There is no pressure to look like, act like or get the same results as everyone else. Isn’t that a relief?
All I can do is offer myself (craziness and all) to the Lord to be used to do some good. I am expecting great things, but I am not telling them what they need to look like. Armed with my own shades of paint and individual brushes, I can’t wait to see how The Artist decides to coat the canvas of this next year.
Hopefully there will be lots of happy little trees.
So what colors are on your canvas?
Thanks so much for the support, everyone! I leave California in a little over two weeks for another bout of Training before launching to Eastern Europe on July 3! Stay tuned!
Love,
