Hey everyone!
In today’s blog, I have a lot of updates coming at you so be ready!
First of all… WE’RE GOING TO GUATEMALA!!! My squad and I recently found out we will officially be launching for ministry in Guatemala on January 7th, 2021. Although we are unsure of what exact types of ministry we will be doing, God had answered so many of our prayers and we can finally say we are travelling internationally.
Along with finding out about our ministry in Guatemala, our squad also had a major change, especially for us women on the squad: teams are changing. Because of the ministry we will be doing in Guatemala, teams have to be bigger than the teams we have now. I’m not going to lie, finding out this news was tough. Not all of my feelings were happy and positive, in fact, there was a lot of negative feelings. I felt angry, confused, overwhelmed, disconnected, and I didn’t feel like I could actually process what was happening. To find out I would no longer be on a team with the 2 other amazing girls I’ve been growing and living life with the past 2.5 months was a shock. I had already been mentally preparing to go overseas to do ministry with these girls, and now I’m on a new, much bigger team of 6 others girls with whom I now have to start all over in the process of vulnerability and growth. I just didn’t understand why when it felt like Team Firme was doing so well and we felt so close and intimate in both our relationships and our relationship with God, why would He just take that away?
Another even bigger change we’ve had to experience is changes due to COVID. We are currently on Thanksgiving Break off-campus and while this has happened, there has been a COVID outbreak on my squad along with a couple of the other squads. While not everyone has tested positive, the outbreak has caused our plans to change for the rest of the semester. Instead of going back to campus for the last two weeks of camp on November 30th as was originally planned, all squads will not be returning to campus until launch on January 3rd when we leave for our first country. Of course this was also very unexpected and a lot of emotions have come from this, again, mostly negative. The sadness of not seeing my squad for an entire month and not being able to give a proper goodbye to the Alumni Team Leaders is undeniable, and I even felt anger because of it. Once again, I couldn‘t help but wonder why would God take this all away?
Through lot’s of prayer and conversation with God, I figured He’d give me an answer, about maybe why He changed everything when things were going so good. That’s not what happened. At least, I didn’t think it had happened. Until today when I was thinking about God’s character and why He does the things He does. God doesn’t go by our timing, if you didn’t already know that. No, He goes by His timing, His perfect timing. The Lord’s plans for us are better than we could’ve ever imagined, even if in the moment it doesn’t feel that way. That’s what I’ve been reminding myself of. Even if I don’t understand necessarily why things had to happen this way, things happened this way for a reason, for His ultimate purpose and plans for the whole squad. I don’t have to know what or why because it’s not up to me. All I have to do is be open and obedient to seeking His Kingdom in everything I do. Wow, who woulda thought?
The past few weeks have not been easy. They’ve been emotionally challenging and some moments have just quite honestly been awful. A lot of processing has taken place and is still taking place, but I’m choosing to process this with God. I’m choosing to believe in His plans for my squad and I, even when it’s a lot easier to allow myself to be led my emotions. So, I encourage you to also find comfort and trust in the Lord, even when things stink.
I love you guys!
-Quincy
