Guatemala.
A time of newness and discomfort. A time of anticipation and relief. A time of tremendous spiritual growth in myself, in my team, and in my squad. A time of unity and pouring out of the overflow of love the Lord gives us, if we choose to receive it.
As my time here in Guatemala is coming to a close, I wanted to let you guys in on a few of the big themes God has been working in and through me with in the time I’ve spent in this beautiful country. After reflecting and remembering the past few months and all that the Lord has done through and in me, He revealed to me three key themes for each month that I would love to share with y’all.
January: A time of freedom.
I know freedom has been a pretty consistent theme of mine, but I would definitely say the biggest breakthrough in the first month in Guatemala was the idea of freedom being a constant journey with the Lord, rather than a destination. When I experienced the breakthrough of freedom and God’s incomprehensible love in November, it was amazing and the “breakthrough high” lasted quite a while. But eventually, it wore off. I felt human again, I made mistakes, I wasn’t perfect and it was hard to believe in God’s love like I had that night in November. But in January, God revealed to me that that night in November was just the start of my freedom journey. There will never be a spiritual breakthrough so big that we don’t need God anymore. A breakthrough is just the start of a journey of learning constant dependency on the Father. That’s what my journey into freedom has been like, a start to a beautiful, forever journey with the Lord.
February: A time of vulnerability.
February held an entire new aspect of freedom that only God could help me through: breaking down walls of self-protection and being vulnerable. Entering into a new team in January and entering into the new community of Guatemala, I noticed that it was hard for me to press in and give my all to people because at some point, I’m going to have to say goodbye. I couldn’t help but think, “why would I be vulnerable with these people, letting them see the deepest parts of me, when they probably won’t even be around forever?” I believed that by letting people in would only provide the opportunity for future pain and hurt. Well, turns out, I was doing that with God too. I had built walls of protection around my heart, keeping everyone out that could potentially hurt me…but in doing that, I was also keeping God’s love from entering. I wasn’t letting God love me.
February was a time recognizing those walls and having multiple conversations with God, asking how I could possibly take those walls down. You see, God is the source of all good things. If I can’t even allow God to love me, how do I expect to truly love others out of the overflow of love I should be receiving from Him? By asking God ways He protects my heart instead of my human brokenness putting up a shield of self-protection, I was able to start the journey of vulnerability with not only others, but God Himself.
March: A time of increasing capacity.
March was and is still full of a constant desire for more of everything God has to offer. Something that I realized in the beginning of March was how I was putting God in a box; I wasn’t allowing myself to believe He was as big as He says He is. I realized there’s so much more to Him than I could ever fully grasp and my desire is to constantly want more. Increasing my view and capacity for more of Him has deepened my desire to fall completely and utterly in love with Him just for who He is, rather than what He does for me or others. Falling in love with His character and just His entire being is a way of increasing my capacity to know Him more and more. I desire to find full satisfaction, delight, and enjoyment in Him alone. He wants to take me deeper than the deepest oceans and higher than the tallest mountains which is absolutely insane to think about.
Yeah, God is so good.
As I say goodbye to Guatemala (for now), I’m glad the goodbyes are hard. I’m so thankful for my time here and I wouldn’t trade the past few months for anything. Walking into this next season in Costa Rica, the things I’m taking with me are these three things and so much more that God has brought me through in my time in Guatemala.
Wow, this beautiful country has such a piece of my heart.
Love, Quincy
