I wrote a blog after month 1 about how I wanted to view ministry differently than I have in the past. I stated that I didn’t want to get into a compartmentalizing-mode and be unaware of the people in my life because I’m so focused on a ministry or ministry site. I always want to see with God’s eyes and see Him in the midst of everything.
I wanted this year to be about ministry. I wanted to focus on ministry to the hurt, broken, and lost. I wanted to go places I’ve never been. I wanted to go to places where people have never heard the name of Jesus. I wanted to live with people in their conditions, meet them where they are, and just love on them. I wanted to do The World Race. But what I wanted is only part of what I needed. I was praying prayers that God was answering in unexpected ways.
At the end of El Salvador, I was asked to be a team leader. I was honored, but in some ways didn’t expect or want the position. I wanted to do this year without a lot of responsibility. But I knew by the conversations I had with God that this was something He has laid out for me for this season.
So I spent month 3 leading Team LionSong.
At the end of month 3, I was asked to squad lead. When I was asked I was in complete shock. It was similar to my response to team leading, but on a bigger scale. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t even want it. I felt like this was too big of a task for me.
But when I spent time with God, I just felt like I need to keep my gaze on Him. All I need to focus on is just focussing on Him. I will lead by being fully led by Him. He will equip and will be strength, wisdom, peace, boldness, and rest.
Each and every time I need it.
I was also overwhelmed with the fact that one thing I’ve struggled with the most in my life was the feeling of being lost in the mix and misunderstood. The more I’ve strived, the more tired I got with coming up short. I’ve asked this year to be fully free of striving to prove myself to others. I finally got to a place that I don’t need to look for people’s approval. In this time when I’m free from the need to be noticed and understood, I’m called out to lead others.
The time I’ve spent wasting trying to prove something to others, my Father was smiling at me the whole time. I just missed it because I put a veil over His face by wanting others to see me. And it’s funny that when all I want and the only thing that matters is to fall more in love with Him and look for His approval, what I used to long for is right in front of me. This position is an honor for sure, but it hasn’t replaced my main focus of following after Christ like it has done in the past.
I’m in a season to lead confidently.
With squad leading my race has changed. My race is about the people on this squad. It is about the hearts of these people so they can reach their fullness in Christ and reach more people that are lost. My month will consist of visiting the teams. I will live with the teams like I am part of the team for the week.
So this month I get to be with these people.
They have led our squad in every way possible. They are such examples in my life of honor, love, grace, and passionate hearts after Jesus. They lead well because they pursue after God whole-heartedly. We have spent a few days on a retreat training and will spend this month side by side with them learning hands-on what it means to be a squad leader. I love how some of our training is them telling us our priority is our relationship with Jesus first and to be heart chasers. There isn’t an infinite to-do list or a no-fail policy. It is to live our lives after the One who loves us and do this position with Him.
Each person has spoken truth and life into my life countless times. I have big shoes to fill. But yet so released to be myself.
And my team for the race is these two amazing girls.
This is our first picture together.
These girls are stunning. Their pure, passionate, pursuing hearts after Christ makes me love them so much more. We spent time praying for what God wants this next season to look like. We each got unique things, but the common DNA was to follow wherever the Spirit leads. I am so honored and excited to do life with 2 girls who will blaze new paths with the Spirit and follow Him at all costs with joy and trust.
I am excited to do life with these girls, discover this new race that God has for us, lead the squad, travel, and enjoy our lives!
I had to surrender what my race will look like, and I’m surrendering it again. My ministry will be for the people in the country and for the people on my squad. It’s about discipleship. It’s about speaking into people about who they are in Christ, loving them, and seeing them with God’s eyes so they can tap more into God. It’s pushing people into more of their true selves- which means more into God. So if that’s my role…
With honor, I’m all in.
