I’m a believer that before something happens through you, it needs to happen in you. My Pre-Race blogs are about what God is teaching me and how He is preparing me for this trip. Although explaining God and what He has done this past week is impossible, I will try to share…
I just came back from Training Camp in the FREEZING woods of Georgia. Last Sunday my squad, D Squad, consisted of around 40 strangers from different parts of the world and with all different stories. But there was a common thread throughout it all. There was a kindred spirit that despite our circumstances, comforts in life, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses, we want more of God. I’m so encouraged and amazed to see so many people abandon all for the sake of the cross and to love our neighbors…even the ones we haven’t met yet.
D Squad!
Our times consisted of training in so many ways. Whether worshipping together, learning how to camp together, trying cultural foods such as fish soup (For those who know me- be impressed! I ate a whole minnow), to sleeping on a bus, and even having a dance off. Everything was intentional to build into us individually and as a unit.
But to build correctly, one must tear down everything that shouldn’t be there until there is only the foundation. Then the right building process can begin and be better and stronger.
It sounds great to build or re-build, but the process is hard. Anything of worth comes with a cost.
As with everyone, I came into training camp with my fears, insecurities, baggage, and excitement. I have rarely been with a group of people who despite all the junk, will love you for where you are at and continually speak into your potential. It’s not that the junk is ignored, it is loving through it and speaking to what’s inside of you.
God opened the doors to my heart this week. He showed Himself to me as Father in such a new way. He took me to a new place of intimacy with Him. A staff member prayed and hugged me, and I truly felt those were God’s arms around me. I walked in last week with shame, but now I’m walking out with freedom. I can’t put into words when I feel God’s tangible love; I just pray everyone will experience it because each person needs it.
There was a place of freedom and amazement, but then there was such a struggle this week. The freedom with God still has to work itself out in my daily walk. There are some things I dive into head first, but with people I don’t. For several reasons I hold back. I’m not fully there yet, but I strive to be better today than yesterday. I felt the freedom inside; I just didn’t know how to live it out. I became frustrated and began to withdraw.
One night, a staff member came to me and posed the question.. “What would it look like if you didn’t hold back and just jumped in?” She was right. I was holding back. Even though I felt the change God had done in my life inside, I didn’t see the outwork immediately. I wanted the healing instant and on my terms rather than on God’s.
We are all on a journey. I’ll miss it if I frustrate myself for not being at the destination on my own desired time. If I haven’t fully “arrived” yet, it doesn’t negate what God has done. He is continually at work. Jesus SAVES.
I just have 2 months left on this particular journey. Through this process, I can dive in. If I don’t risk, I wouldn’t know the freedom on the other side. I’m still learning to dive head first in relationships with people. I know this is training a standard for me individually. I’m going to hit the ground running on The World Race. I’m ready to see God work as we love one another and go and share God’s love to the hurt, broken, and lost. What God has started this week will continue. I’m going all in.
What would it look like if you dove in? Take the risk with me.
