I wanted to share how I got to this point of going on the race. It has taken me a long time to write this because I am not a writer, much less a writer about myself. I am more of a reader, thinker, and musician. I express myself through those avenues rather than writing.
But here I go anyway! There is so much I feel I can and need to say to have people understand and know me, but I will be blogging for a while so some things can wait. I will start with my journey on how I ended up signing up for this trip.
I am 22 and am originally from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am the third of six children. We have grown up with mostly just our immediately family, so all 8 of us are super close as not only family but also friends. They are a constant in my life. Always supporting, challenging, and encouraging me in every way. I have the best time with them!
I spent most of my life growing up in Tulsa. I attended the same school for the most part and kept the same circle of friends for the most part. My parents have been in ministry so I grew up around that lifestyle. When I was in 7thgrade my parents started a church. I got thrown into being a P.K. ( pastor’s kid).
By the time I was a freshman, I realized with ministry there is a beautiful and a brutal side. I saw the different side of ministry and was hurt. Instead of running to God who could help, I felt to blame someone and I turned my anger towards Him. I was confused and didn’t know what to do.
One day I turned to the book of Job. Near the end of the book, Job says to God that he knew God from the rumors of others, but now he knows God firsthand. I realized I didn’t have that. I asked God for the next year to reveal Himself. And did God show up! It wasn’t an easy, blissful walk, but I saw God through all the confusion, hurt, and hard times. That’s where He truly revealed Himself to me. I saw His goodness when I couldn’t see it in anything or anyone else.. I can truly look back at that time and know that is when I began to see God for myself. This led me to go on a missions trip to Brazil.
My school went for 2 weeks in the summer of ’05. This trip was a real push out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t going with anyone I knew and I felt extremely vulnerable and shy. We ministered in the streets, schools, prisons, and orphanages. We also got a band together and were able to play music for the youth. One of the last nights we had a youth crusade. They wanted us to play a couple songs. I got asked to drum and it was one of the most frightening things I have done. With no rehearsal and not really knowing the songs, we walked on stage to a few thousand youth students screaming in Portugese. I looked into the crowd and heard God speak to my heart that this is what I’m going to be a part of. To help bring all people, all nations, together in unity through worship. I saw the connection music has. It is common to every culture. It brings people together. Music tears down barriers. We were singing in English, they were singing in Portugeuse, yet we were singing together as one and worshipping our God together.
I heard about Hillsong International Leadership College on the trip and knew immediately that I was going to go there after high school. I didn’t tell anyone because I was so afraid to not be accepted and afraid what my friends would say. I applied and got accepted. 6 weeks after graduating, I boarded the longest flight of my life to a brand new country. I left my family, friends, and the guy I thought I loved. I spent two years in Australia learning drums, music, worship, servant leadership, about the Local and Global Church, the Bible, true friendship, and much more. The more I learned about God, the more I realized I don’t know about Him. I can go on and on with what I learned there and what God did in me and through me, but there wouldn’t be enough space on this blog.
After two years, I felt my time was ending there. I felt to move to England and be a part of a music team that travels around the U.K. and helps bridge the gap between the youth and the church. I had to reset my life again. Everything was new again! My team was placed in a town that truly had more sheep than people. I cried and didn’t know why I left such a good life in Australia. I got placed at a great church and began working in the community and in a community center. It was nothing that I signed up for. It truly was a struggle to find the reason why I was there. But I felt in my heart I was in the right place for the season, but unsure why. (Now I see the big picture and it makes sense.)
While I was preparing to leave for Christmas break, I felt God say I wasn’t coming back to England. I ignored it and left everything in England and came home for Christmas. I heard of a great church in Dallas and one of the pastors wanted to talk to me about a possible hire. I flew down to Dallas to interview for a possible future position. Things went and felt great and I got offered a position starting immediately. This meant I had to come across one of my greatest fears….quitting. I committed to 1 year in England, but I was sensing that it’s done. Why would I feel to quit when it’s not good to quit? After a week of prayer and dilemma, I decided to move to Dallas. I had to get everything shipped from England and I moved…again…to a new state and restarted my life.
Several months later in January I was on the computer and The World Race ad came up. I followed it to the site and was amazed at what I saw. I pushed the idea of going aside and kept focusing on what I was doing here.
However, it would not leave. I kept going back to the site of The World Race. I kept thinking how I am living one of my dreams right now. I’m working at a church and leading the worship and creative area for our students. Not only was I a part of it drumming, but I was helping build into the future generation. How can I leave right now?
I was reminded that I was holding onto and trusting more on the promises rather than holding onto the Promiser. In July, while working away at our summer camp, I made the commitment to go. It’s 11 months. Everything that I was worried about, like a career, school, etc.. can wait 11 months. But this cannot wait.
That is some of the process of how I came to have a heart for missions and to go on this race.
It’s a trust journey, but so worth it. I don’t know where God is leading in the future but I know my next step is The World Race. Looking back, I can see how He puts all the puzzle pieces together. But it’s a trust journey through it all. We are called to trust and obey. I’m scared and excited. This is a chance to GO; not wait for people to come. I have prayed to God to use me in whatever way, and I think to pray that we have to be willing to be used in truly ANY way. It’s a humbling honor to be used by God in any way. And I am truly grateful, humbled, ecstatic, and honored to serve God by going on this trip. Who says serving God is boring?
But here I go anyway! There is so much I feel I can and need to say to have people understand and know me, but I will be blogging for a while so some things can wait. I will start with my journey on how I ended up signing up for this trip.
I am 22 and am originally from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am the third of six children. We have grown up with mostly just our immediately family, so all 8 of us are super close as not only family but also friends. They are a constant in my life. Always supporting, challenging, and encouraging me in every way. I have the best time with them!
I spent most of my life growing up in Tulsa. I attended the same school for the most part and kept the same circle of friends for the most part. My parents have been in ministry so I grew up around that lifestyle. When I was in 7thgrade my parents started a church. I got thrown into being a P.K. ( pastor’s kid).
By the time I was a freshman, I realized with ministry there is a beautiful and a brutal side. I saw the different side of ministry and was hurt. Instead of running to God who could help, I felt to blame someone and I turned my anger towards Him. I was confused and didn’t know what to do.
One day I turned to the book of Job. Near the end of the book, Job says to God that he knew God from the rumors of others, but now he knows God firsthand. I realized I didn’t have that. I asked God for the next year to reveal Himself. And did God show up! It wasn’t an easy, blissful walk, but I saw God through all the confusion, hurt, and hard times. That’s where He truly revealed Himself to me. I saw His goodness when I couldn’t see it in anything or anyone else.. I can truly look back at that time and know that is when I began to see God for myself. This led me to go on a missions trip to Brazil.
My school went for 2 weeks in the summer of ’05. This trip was a real push out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t going with anyone I knew and I felt extremely vulnerable and shy. We ministered in the streets, schools, prisons, and orphanages. We also got a band together and were able to play music for the youth. One of the last nights we had a youth crusade. They wanted us to play a couple songs. I got asked to drum and it was one of the most frightening things I have done. With no rehearsal and not really knowing the songs, we walked on stage to a few thousand youth students screaming in Portugese. I looked into the crowd and heard God speak to my heart that this is what I’m going to be a part of. To help bring all people, all nations, together in unity through worship. I saw the connection music has. It is common to every culture. It brings people together. Music tears down barriers. We were singing in English, they were singing in Portugeuse, yet we were singing together as one and worshipping our God together.
I heard about Hillsong International Leadership College on the trip and knew immediately that I was going to go there after high school. I didn’t tell anyone because I was so afraid to not be accepted and afraid what my friends would say. I applied and got accepted. 6 weeks after graduating, I boarded the longest flight of my life to a brand new country. I left my family, friends, and the guy I thought I loved. I spent two years in Australia learning drums, music, worship, servant leadership, about the Local and Global Church, the Bible, true friendship, and much more. The more I learned about God, the more I realized I don’t know about Him. I can go on and on with what I learned there and what God did in me and through me, but there wouldn’t be enough space on this blog.
After two years, I felt my time was ending there. I felt to move to England and be a part of a music team that travels around the U.K. and helps bridge the gap between the youth and the church. I had to reset my life again. Everything was new again! My team was placed in a town that truly had more sheep than people. I cried and didn’t know why I left such a good life in Australia. I got placed at a great church and began working in the community and in a community center. It was nothing that I signed up for. It truly was a struggle to find the reason why I was there. But I felt in my heart I was in the right place for the season, but unsure why. (Now I see the big picture and it makes sense.)
While I was preparing to leave for Christmas break, I felt God say I wasn’t coming back to England. I ignored it and left everything in England and came home for Christmas. I heard of a great church in Dallas and one of the pastors wanted to talk to me about a possible hire. I flew down to Dallas to interview for a possible future position. Things went and felt great and I got offered a position starting immediately. This meant I had to come across one of my greatest fears….quitting. I committed to 1 year in England, but I was sensing that it’s done. Why would I feel to quit when it’s not good to quit? After a week of prayer and dilemma, I decided to move to Dallas. I had to get everything shipped from England and I moved…again…to a new state and restarted my life.
Several months later in January I was on the computer and The World Race ad came up. I followed it to the site and was amazed at what I saw. I pushed the idea of going aside and kept focusing on what I was doing here.
However, it would not leave. I kept going back to the site of The World Race. I kept thinking how I am living one of my dreams right now. I’m working at a church and leading the worship and creative area for our students. Not only was I a part of it drumming, but I was helping build into the future generation. How can I leave right now?
I was reminded that I was holding onto and trusting more on the promises rather than holding onto the Promiser. In July, while working away at our summer camp, I made the commitment to go. It’s 11 months. Everything that I was worried about, like a career, school, etc.. can wait 11 months. But this cannot wait.
That is some of the process of how I came to have a heart for missions and to go on this race.
It’s a trust journey, but so worth it. I don’t know where God is leading in the future but I know my next step is The World Race. Looking back, I can see how He puts all the puzzle pieces together. But it’s a trust journey through it all. We are called to trust and obey. I’m scared and excited. This is a chance to GO; not wait for people to come. I have prayed to God to use me in whatever way, and I think to pray that we have to be willing to be used in truly ANY way. It’s a humbling honor to be used by God in any way. And I am truly grateful, humbled, ecstatic, and honored to serve God by going on this trip. Who says serving God is boring?
