“Instead of being welcomed into the world with joy, Emmi was birthed into rejection and despised for being a girl. Was she really the one who would bring a curse on her family as tradition dictated?
I always grew up with the need to protect myself. I had to be strong and tough because I had nobody. If I was weak, I would have been dead. But if I were a boy, no one would bully me anymore.
Emmi’s outward appearance hardened as she reinforced her defenses. Shielding her true self.
Her Shan father, breaking from tradition, had spent 5 long years waiting for permission to marry Emmi’s Thai mom. The family’s story of love and determination came to a sorrowful end, changing their lives forever. Emmi’s father, fueled by rage, lashed out and impulsively killed her mother. Emmi was only 3.
Instead of spending their years living happily in their village, Emmi’s father went to jail and she was finally taken in by her great grandparents despite their poverty. The family was broken apart allowing anger and shame to take root.
At the age of 11, Emmi narrowly escaped being sold into prostitution by her grandfather. Instead, she found refuge in a Christian orphanage where she stayed until she was 18. She then left to attend Chiang Mai University.
Once again she felt lost and alone, in desperate pursuit of love. She found acceptance and appreciation in her newly discovered homosexual relationships. Towards the end of her studies, Emmi’s missionary mom returned to Chiang Mai. She found her Thai daughter in a state of self-destruction as she broke into tears and urged Emmi to change. Emmi knew she had disappointed someone she loved. Tarnished by shame, she desperately searched to restore her life. In the last few months things began to change as Emmi started to learn about Jesus through her job translating for Christian groups traveling in Thailand.
Through different circumstances, Emmi traveled to the States to study while searching for answers that would allow her to live. She realized that in order to be whole again she must somehow approve her father and forgive him. It took three attempts to convince her that forgiveness was the only way to heal the hurt in her life. Her father had been hurt too. He had killed the wife he truly loved. It took faith and courage to call him but her last words were worth the effort.
Dad, I love you.
Me Too, he replied softly.
Forgiveness brings freedom.
Today you will not find Emmi wearing a flowery skirt but rather clothed in wholeness. She carries with her an inner peace. Her identity, security, and self worth are now centered purely on God’s truth. She now frequents the Chiang Mai city bars with her YWAM Lighthouse in Action peers, reaching out to prostitutes and ladyboys. She makes friends with young students, confidently showing a selfless love and acceptance at Wongen Kafe. She has genuinely found her path in life.”
Excerpt from Lighthouse in Action pamphlets located at Wongen Kafe.
