During times like these, I ask God “Why? I don’t understand. How can a benevolent God allow such incredible suffering?” and I am reminded of Deuteronomy 29:29, “the secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever.” If I understood everything and could see the ultimate purpose and will, then I would be God. But I do not suppose to be God and I cannot presume to make sense of the things that God holds close to his heart. Lately, God has been answering my prayer to break my heart for the things that break His heart, by cracking my heart wide open for a few of the people in Lira. At times it hurts so bad it’s almost intolerable and I cannot stop the tears that flow down my cheeks. Then I think, this is only a taste of a fraction of the hurt that God feels when He sees and feels the pain of His people here on earth. But God sees the bigger picture. He sees the glory and worship that temporary pain will bring in eternity. While in my finite mind, I cannot even begin to fathom the purpose of suffering, I do stand on God’s promise, “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” Romans 5:3-5.
Jesus spoke, “‘Your faith has healed you.’ And the woman was healed from that moment” (Matthew 9:22) or “‘According to your faith it will be done to you’ and their sight was restored” (Matthew 9:29). Sometimes we pray for healing and for miracles, but it seems ineffective when we do not receive the answer that we want immediately. My team has been praying countless prayers of healing this month and still we have not seen the instantaneous results we eagerly expected to see. Still, we will continue to pray with childlike faith which is filled with hope. Faith is being assured of what we hope for and convicted of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). Hope is a confident expectation that God will bring to fulfillment the things He promises us.
Childlike faith does not doubt, but continues to expect the seemingly impossible and reminds God that He promises “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). The Bible is filled with many stories of Jesus healing the sick and setting prisoners free. Not only Jesus, but his disciples, Peter, and Paul, with the authority and power of the Holy Spirit, continued to heal people and freed them from bondage. Today, we have the same authority and power of the Holy Spirit, who lives in me, but sometimes I wonder if it’s my lack of faith that hinders the full manifestation of God’s power through me. I ask myself: Priscilla, do you have the faith to persevere in your prayers and continue to believe that God hears and will answer according to His purpose and His promise even when you do not see immediate results?
I am reminded of all the men of faith listed in Hebrews 11, who “through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised,” but I easily forget “others were tortured and refused to be released… some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison… they went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted, and mistreated… they wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect” (Hebrews 11:35b-40). Childlike faith is continually being assured of our confident expectation on the Lord even when the physical evidence suggests otherwise. Childlike faith is continuing to pray with confident expectation for healing even when I don’t see immediate results because God is Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. Childlike faith is continuing to believe that “God is good all the time” even when I see His people suffering. Childlike faith is trusting that God’s purpose is perfect and my shortsightedness restricts my understanding. Childlike faith is saying out loud “God is love” even in the midst of suffering.
