This past(I still haven’t figured out if passed or past is
correct here, if you know leave a comment) week was our squad debrief. For me,
it started out with exhaustion, fever, and a sore throat. I went to a doctor on
Wednesday to get checked out and all they had to say to me is “throat
infection” and gave me some antibiotics. My throat got drastically worse with
every day after this diagnosis. By Saturday I could barely swallow my food.
There were at least 3 sores strategically placed in my mouth for the most
uncomfortable pain and my throat had white puss pockets or whatever all over
it. I could barely eat my foot so I basically gave up and ate the minimum each
day. I drank mainly liquids: chocolate milkshakes and juice.
This whole time P squad is being ridiculous. It’s never fun
to be sick and away from home but these guys made me feel at home. They were
always asking if they could do anything and I know they would have done
anything, seriously anything I would have asked for. They prayed over me constantly.
Shannon Taylor is freakin crazy but I love her! She prayed over me I don’t know
how many times. BUT I never got better. I knew that if these people were
praying over me and nothing was happening that God had different plans.
When asked by my brother Julian about how I was doin I
simply told him, “This is from God. He wants me to go through something. I
know, I KNOW that he has healing for me but He’s got a bigger plan for this.
There’s HUGE breakthrough at the end of this and it’s coming at the end of debrief.
I know it’s coming but I have no clue what it is.”
So I went through debrief with, I’m pretty sure, strep
throat. It sucked! But I told God I’m gonna praise Him through whatever. He
deserves it. He deserves my every breath.
Last night of debrief comes. I walk in and I sit up front
with the two people who are going to lead worship for the night. For some
reason I’m drawn to them and sitting on stage with them feels right. I fight it
though, I leave the stage area and go find my seat.
The first song comes on, “Shout unto God with a voice of
triumph, shout unto God with a voice of praise. Shout unto God with a voice of
triumph, we lift Your name up, we life Your name up.”
This is a song that my older brother Ben brought to our home
community from when he went to Hillsong. Him, my other brothers, some friends(Sean,
Nick, Drew, Ricky, Kalvin, Joshua Fowler, Caleb Galloway, many others) and I used to make up a strong community with
Christ at the center. This crumbled a few years ago and we all went our own
paths, hardening our hearts. It’s a hard truth to accept.
As I was singing this with all the strength I had, eyes
closed, I felt someone grab my arm. Christy, the girl who was leading, was
pulling me up front. God told her I was supposed to be up front and she
listened. As I sang my voice was the loudest I had ever sung before.
“Shout unto God with the voice of triumph, shout unto God
with a voice of praise. Shout unto God with the voice of triumph, we lift Your
name up, we lift Your name UPPPPPPPPPPPPP”
I held that last word or sound or note or whatever you wanna
call it for a while, as loud and as long as I could with every bit of breath my
lungs could hold. I sang my way into healing. I swallowed my spit after that
and my throat was completely healed, zero pain! AHHHHHHH my God is ridiculous.
I’ve always had a decent singing voice but never a voice of
my own. I was always good at imitating people. I loved imitating anyone that I
heard, especially my older brother Ben.
God’s given me my own voice, and this voice of triumph
solidified it.
