This happens every month. It happened the first two, and it is starting to happen here again, now in Thailand.
You come to a place in the month where you realize you are leaving very soon. As you begin to think about leaving and going to another country, you realize how much you are going to miss the people in this country.
So it is starting to happen here in Thailand. I look around and wonder if I will ever see these smiling faces again. Will I come back and even if I do, what are the chances that I will see these people again.
I think about the loving mothers who cook me food every day, the pastors who have welcomed me into their homes- to join with them in their ministry. I think about the kids here also. All their smiles, their laughs and how they are so loving and fun.
I don’t know if I will ever come back to Thailand. Because of that, I don’t know if I will ever see these people again. And that is such a weird thought… when you look at someone and know that there is a huge possibility you will never see them again.
Having these emotions activates me to several things. First, it makes me cherish the moments that I do have here. It makes me run faster with the kids, be crazier, play longer, be more ridiculous.
Secondly, it keeps my mind focused on the here and now. I don’t dwell on the future, about different countries, different ministries- I focus on the kids and our games, or on hoeing another field.
And third, it completely changes my prayers. Knowing that I probably won’t see these kids again, I pray for them as much as I can. When I hold them, when I joke with them, when I run around with them. I am always remembering to pray for them right now, because there is a great possibility that I won’t be able to pray over them again. I beg the LORD that they would be so rooted in Him at a young age that it is natural and a zealous desire of theirs to continue running with God in the future when they leave the orphanage and do life. I so want for them to increase in the knowledge of God and for them to increase in favor with the LORD and with men. I pray that we would reunite one day in heaven. That will be the best reunion party ever.
It is hard leaving each country knowing that you very well may never see any of these same people again. But the very best positive from this is that it makes me love them as best I can, with the love I have received from God in Christ, right here and now.
