I would like to say that I have bold faith, that I know who God is and that I trust Him in every situation but, I would be half heartedly telling you the truth. My heart does want all of these things but honestly I feel as though I know very little about God. The more I seek Him the more I realize my knowledge of Him is small.
We serve a simplistic God that is so simple that our minds try to complicate things to understand Him. We study theology and take religious classes to better our knowledge of Him but, I personally have never discovered Him in a classroom; I have found Him with the widows and the orphans, He was holding the 16 year old boy who was dying from his addiction of alcohol in the Bagot community in Darwin, Australia. Jesus was always about action, he didn’t study theology in a classroom or go to a bible college to be trained the proper way so He could go and preach to the multitudes. I am not saying those things are bad but, He knew who He was because of His relationship with the Father.
My hope is to walk this earth and mirror the image of Christ. That is a bold statement you might think and frankly you would be correct but, in my bible I was told that I would do even greater things than He. (John 14:12)
In all honesty since I have been home from the world race I have so easily got lost in the things of this world. The stress of money, I have to find a car so I can get around, I have to find a job because not enough support is coming in, and so on and so on. All of these things are distractions!
The Lord will provide! He is faithful in all things.
The devil thinks He is so clever to distract us from the very thing we are working towards which is bringing heaven to this earth.
I have no desire for money. I know that I will probably never have the nice things that many do; I wouldn’t have time to play with my toys even if I did have them. I have chosen a missionary lifestyle, it is not glamorous, and it is hard, and most days I want to give in and be selfish and not be about my Father’s business but, in my heart I know that there is so much more than the selfish things I want.
Tonight I have reflected on all of the people I have met around the world and their needs that need to be met and my heart feels just a small fraction of what breaks the heart of God. It is not possible anymore to stay home and talk about things when action needs to be taken right now. There are people right now who need our help and because I know of their needs I am held accountable now. This is why I am going to G42 so I can be trained to have stronger and bolder faith. I want to be a man of action and not a man of pretty words. So,
Tonight I am taking myself out of the equation and letting God be. As I said in the beginning my trust in God is bipolar most of the time. I trust him when things are good and try to trust him when things are bad but, seem to fail time and time again. Lord I ask you for bold faith, faith that truly can move mountains. Help me to trust you in every circumstance. I don’t want to get lost in the things of this world that one day will fade away with time. I want to keep my mind focused on you, my heart open to serve, and my body a vessel driven by the Holy Spirit.
My heart for missions is not something I am simply doing while I am young. I have chosen this lifestyle for the rest of my life while I am living and breathing on this earth. Yes, I have chosen the path less traveled but, I know God has given me purpose for my life and I am to fulfill that purpose while I am alive.
I love you God, I am still learning to trust you, help me to grow in the areas that I am weak.
Your humble servant,
PC.
