Month 10. Can you believe that my time on the World Race is almost over?! Re-entry into the States is coming up and I just want to forewarn you with some things that may occur during the first few months of my return.
A lot has happened and I have been engulfed in 11 different cultures. I’ve experienced things that leave me scratching my head and thinking to myself, “wow…that would NEVER fly in America!” Living everyday life abroad has some weird and quirky moments. Some of those experiences grow on you and I’ve come to adapt to a few things. Therefore I have written a few pieces that you may have to excuse me once I get home.
These things have become a way of life with me and I pray that you can be patient with me as I “re-enter” life back in the States!
Please forgive me
……if we go out to a restaurant and I am surprised when they actually HAVE what’s on the menu. (Many restaurants have a menu, but are only able to make ¼ of the stuff on it.
……If I ask you to walk across the street with me to a convenience store to buy a Coke. (Per WR rules, we can NEVER go anywhere alone)
……If after I use your bathroom I stand by the sink and run my hands through warm water for an extended period of time. (Hot water in sinks is EXTREMELY rare in 3rd world countries)
*……If I tell you that I’ll just take a quick shower, but take 45 minutes in the shower it’s mainly because I am just standing under the hot water. (Again, hot showers are EXTREMELY rare in 3rd world countries.)
……If we go shopping at the Mall of America and I stare blankly at people because I haven’t seen so many white people gathered in one area. (Even when we see white people out in the field we get excited!)
……If you ask me a question and or ask what I am thinking about and I reply with “I’m just processing” it’s just World Race lingo for “I’m thinking about it/stuff” (I swear our thought process on the WR has become extended due to the idea of “processing”
……(this one is for my Mom!) If I put my clothes in the dryer EVERY morning before I wear it because I haven’t felt the warmth of dryer fresh clothes in 11 months. (All of our clothes have been hand washed and hung out to dry)
……If we go out dancing and I hear a song that I like and I ask you “hey! Is this a new song?!” and your reply with “no! it’s been out since last fall!” Fail. (Lack of American radio stations/MTV will kill your “new music” knowledge)
……If you ask me to drive somewhere and once I get into the car I jump in the RIGHT seat. (Especially in our last few countries, they drive on the RIGHT side)
……If we stop at a gas station and I ask for diesel fuel. (A majority of vehicles abroad use diesel fuel)
……If you ask me to go to the beach and I reply with “eh, not really” (Thailand beaches have turned me into a beach snob)
……If I talk really slow and simple to you like you are a 4th grader. (Many people don’t understand our English that well, so we’ve had to talk super slow and use simple words)
……If I get a liiitttllleee excited that I don’t have to sleep in a mosquito night. (One word: Malaria)
……If I slather Old Spice STICK deodorant on every day. (I’m sick of roll-on deodorant that barely does the job and doesn’t smell good)
……If I refuse to buy something without bargaining for it. (Wheeling and dealing is a way of life-especially when buying clothes or other items)
……If I get “googly eyes” the first few times I visit Cub Foods. (Most grocery stores we’ve been to have just off the wall stuff that we’ve never heard of. It will be nice to recognize brands)
…..If I don’t know who is dating who in Hollywood or what’s going on in pop culture. (Like I mentioned before, American tabloids and American news channels are non-existent around the world)
……If I give you what we call “feedback” when I see a weakness in your character. (It’s not that you did something wrong, it’s just that I want to help you become a better person and I know you are better than whatever it is you did)
……If I have the urge to be around 5 other people at ALL times for the first few days….weeks…months. (Living in close community 24/7 is going to be hard to break. Especially being apart from my team L)
……If I refuse to do the “Father Abraham” song in front of kids. (We’ve done Father Abraham SO many times. I swear I lose a year of my life every time we sing/do it)
……If I ask you to cram in the back of my car along with 6 other people and say “hey, we made this work in Africa!” (cramming into vehicles has also been a lifestyle on the World Race)
……If I sleep longer than 8 hours because I am not woken up by the sound of chickens, generators, loud talking Africans outside our window, or screaming monkeys. (I’ve been woken up by just about any bloody imaginable noise you can think of)
……If you see me getting a pedicure more than once. (Walking on dirt roads and stepping in God knows what will really make your feet FUNKY!)
……If I give you praise for not forcing me to finish everything on the table. (In many cultures it is extremely offensive to leave any food on the table. It’s not that I don’t like to eat, it’s just that they serve us WAY over our heads)
……If I…ok any other World Racer would say please forgive me if I don’t shower for a few days because that’s normal on the World Race, but this guy plans on showering 3 times a day when he returns to catch up for those lost showers. The longest I’ve gone without a shower is 5 days because there was NO water to be had.)
……If when you call me on the phone I answer with “Jambo!” “Sawatdee Khrap” “hola” “chum riep sua” (Hello in Kiswahili, thai, Spanish, and khmer)
……If you are with me at the gas pump and I look confused. (I haven’t pumped gas in 11 months)
……If continually talk about Thailand. (I love that place and I love the ministry there!)
……If I would rather watch a Manchester United soccer game than any other sports on tv. (Ok, maybe not NFL, but everything else)
……If church service ends under 2 hours and I say, “that’s it?!” (Church services we’ve been to have been around 4+ hours long)
…..If refuse to get out of my car/house because I’m sulking in the A/C. (A/C hasn’t been much of a luxury around the world, sadly)
…..If you tell me you are sick, the first thing I’ll wanna do is pray for you. (It’s just what we do on the World race)
…..If I start saying random words in different languages during a conversation. (It’s cuz I can!)
……If I consider a 5 hour road trip as a “short trip” (When you’ve been on bus/van rides for 17-35 hours, anything in single digits is a blessing)
……If I suddenly realize that driving on the LEFT side of the road isn’t the correct lane to be driving on. (Again, many countries drive on the opposite side)
……If you show up early or on time for a meeting I will want to give you a great big hug and say thank you! (People around the world don’t keep time very well)
……If we have a meeting and I show up late and say “Sorry, I must be on (insert country name here) time”(As mentioned before, people around the world don’t keep time very well)
……If I start every story with “This one time in (insert country name here)……” (A lot has crazy/weird things have happened in all these different countries)
