Who I am I? Why am I still here?
The day came for the church launch and it was an EXTRAVAGENZA! Pastor Omega hired a marching band to hold a procession leading up to the church which we also took part in. There were guest Pastors from Nairobi and surrounding areas and Bishop Jonah was also in attendance. It was quite the event! Normally our services last 3 ½ hours, but that day since it was a special celebration service it ran about 5 hours long. Yes, 5 hours long. It wasn’t boring at all by any means, but my mind (yours would too!) wandered off a few times during the service. A question that popped in my head was,
“Who are you? And why are you still here?”
Still here? Where? Africa? The World Race? Earth? I’m pretty sure I was thinking of The World Race. So I took some time to reflect on why I was actually still out in the field. What’s stopping me from boarding the flight back home to Minneapolis? Let’s break it down:
· Expectations
a. All the expectations that I WASN’T suppose to set for the Race have already been met. I’ve held orphaned babies, prayed and cared for widows, feed the hungry, and prayed for healing. I flown on giant airplanes and visited some of the world’s best airports. I’ve visited Angkor Wat and swam on the beaches of Thailand. I’ve eaten really weird foods and fellowshipped with the locals. Now what?
b. The “now what?” is all up to God. He is so great that He always brings me to things that I never thought I would do. I never expected to become really good friends with prostitutes in Thailand. I never expected to meet a man who killed people in the past and help lead him to Christ. I never expected to bring Christmas presents to thousands of Costa Rican kids. I never expected to get up in front of hundreds of students and speak life and encouragement to them. Heck, I never expected to visit Laos! I feel that the Lord has so many more “unexpected” moments left for me these next few months that I can’t help but seek Him out and see all that is great He has in store for me.
All the things that I’ve wanted to do on this journey with God has been met and has exceeded expectations. Well, I still have the ambition to visit the Maasai tribe and wrestle a Lion. That’s a whole ‘nother blog. But is that really enough for me? Is there more that God wants to use me for? What other ways can God use me in the next 3 ½ months? Truth is, I don’t really know. I set out on this journey for the Lord to use me in any way that He wants to. I will find joy in each situation knowing that whatever it is I’m doing is what the Lord called me to do.
· Learning
a. I am learning still learning so much from the Lord day by day. I’ve learned what it’s like to be intimately close with Him and be surrounded by His presence. I’ve also learned what it’s like to be distant from Him. It sucks….I wouldn’t recommend it. But in that, I’ve learned that no matter how far I try and run away and get caught up in sin, He is continually striving to pull me back and get me closer to Him. His grace covers me completely and I know that I am loved in any circumstance.
I know that I still have so much to learn about the Lord. Prior to coming on the World Race I had a limited amount of Bible knowledge and just a waist high knowledge about the Lord. I’m more of a visual learning so I feel that God called me out here to SEE Him work amongst His people. I’ve seen Bible verses lived out amongst my teammates and ministries I’ve worked with. I’ve had days where I pray to God asking Him to teach me about certain things that have been on my heart. I remember one day in Cambodia, for whatever reason I got up and asked the Lord to teach me today about self discipline and self control. Let’s just say that was a rough day and things didn’t go my way, but the Lord taught me all those things I asked for along with patience and grace with people around me. Simply put, I’ve learned A LOT in these past 8 months. I know the learning isn’t going to stop after month 11 either. I like to think of the World Race as an accelerated class on seeing God work!
“Show Me What I’m Looking For”
· Show me Your glory
· Save me from being confused
This goes along side of learning, but oh well. I want the Lord’s favor to be upon me. I want to be a spiritual leader in friendships and relationships. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit. I want Jesus. All these things are helping me become a better man of God. The things I’ve learned from the Lord on the Race will help me become a better son, a better husband, and more importantly a better father. I’m just a lost sheep that needs to be herded in the right direction.
“My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand” John 10:27-28
Truthfully, I don’t want to stop seeking out God. I don’t think anyone ever should. But these next 3 months are going to be filled with different ways that God moves. I want to be part of every second of it. And I know that even after the three months that if I continue to seek God and His glory, I will see Him brighter than ever in my life. But for now, God has me pursuing Him in Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, and India. I want to see more people receive the gift of Christ in their lives. I want to feel God’s presence wrap people in His arms and show them a love they have never received.
“Save me, I’m lost
Oh lord, I’ve been waiting for you
I’ll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I’m looking for
Show me what I’m looking for…oh lord”
-Carolina Liar “Show Me What I’m Looking For”
I know I’m right where I need to be. No matter how many times my mind wanders home, right now as the Lord sees it, my home is out bringing His Kingdom. The Lord has SO many more things to teach and show me. Why would I want to miss out on seeing our almighty God in ways unimaginable? I’m living a life of chasing Jesus in some ways people only dream of. This is too good of an opportunity to cut short. This is a season of my life where I’m free from distractions of “real life” to seek Jesus in His own environment.
