God, I need You to show up BIG…….

God, I need You to show up BIG…….

………that was my prayer a few nights ago. I had one of those moments where I just needed to run out and be alone with God. So…. I did. I drove to my “happy place” and had it out with the Lord. Ok….that sounds harsh, but it really wasn’t to that extent. We just sat together and talked about all that was on my heart. Even though He knew what was going on in there, it still felt good to voice it out. We talked about the World Race, about re-entry, and most importantly….what was next for me.

As you know, my heart longs to return to Thailand. Specifically to Phuket to work with S.H.E. ministries. But my main battle was actually starting the process to GET over there. Support raising, VISA applications, purchasing plane tickets, etc. It was all so overwhelming and the easy way out was just to simply NOT go. Yes, those thoughts flowed through my head. And yes, I quickly realized that I was being attacked by the enemy. I once listened to a sermon from Pastor John Wood of Christ Chapel Macon and he said, “you know you’re right in the middle of God’s will when you become attacked the most.” “satan doesn’t want to bother the people that aren’t doing BIG things for God.” So true. So with that, I prayed for God to show up BIG and help me overcome these negative thoughts I was going through. I didn’t care how/when/why but I just wanted Him to show up.

To be honest, I started to let those attacks get to me…..again. God wasn’t showing up and the clock is ticking. The S.H.E. Ministry Training School/Internship starts January 9^th and I have yet to book a plane ticket over there…tick tock-tick tock. As much as I like to believe in myself that I am a strong Christian, I still have my weaknesses. I am still vulnerable to attacks. I am still desperately trying to seek God out in all situations. And after 11 months of serving alongside the Lord with 60 other Christ followers…..I still don’t have it all together! I am wreck that can only be restored by Abba Father.

I had been getting SO much support from my friends and family. I had so many people cheering for me to go on this trip. There’s NO WAY I could not go. But I still had thoughts of NOT going. Honestly, because things weren’t going my way, airline prices were climbing day by day, and God wasn’t showing up……I had one foot out the door…..

…..and that’s when my God showed up BIG…..

It wasn’t in the form of a huge donation check. It wasn’t someone who donated airline miles for me to get over there. But it came in the form of two conversations with some AMAZING sisters. And they both sorta happened at the same time. I was on the phone this evening with Ms. Ashley Auman and I explained to her how I was doing and what I was going through. And instantly without hesitation she began to speak LIFE and TRUTH into me. She reminded me that my heart and passion for those women in Thailand isn’t something that every man possesses. And that God is going to use MY time there to break chains off of women who have been severely mistaken their identities as sex slaves instead of daughters of Abba Father. These women have worth and unfortunately satan has lied and deceived them into thinking that their worth is in their bodies instead of their hearts. And as I hung up the phone I got a Facebook message from Ms. Autumn Breeze who is a long term staffer at S.H.E. ministries in Phuket. Her message was also breathing life into me and the prayer that she prayed over me was absolutely beautiful. She assured me that the enemy will do everything possible to confuse and overwhelm me just to prevent me from going there. After the phone call and reading of the message my body was just overcome with a sense of warmth. I knew I was engulfed in the Lord’s presence and love. It was confirmed that I needed to GO.

 

Ashley & I at WR Launch!

(sorry Autumn….I don’t have any pictures with you….yet!)

 

While before tonight I was vulnerable…..I am refilled with the JOY of Christ in my heart and am more motivated and excited to get over there and join an AMAZING ministry in Phuket, Thailand. Thank you Ashley and Autumn! As the night went on I had more conversations with life givers and people posting on my Facebook wall saying that they are praying for me as the days go by. Many of whom have no idea what I’m going through right now. Total God appointment!

Five days after I asked God to show up….He did. Not a minute too soon or a minute too late. Just the way I like it.