Month SIX. I’m halfway through with The World Race and I can honestly say I’ve hit what World Racers call “The Wall.”
I’m lost. I’m confused. I’m lonely. I’m anxious. I’m EXHUASTED.
As much as The World Race is about doing ministry and bringing Kingdom around the world there is also a part of the Race that is about personal growth. Let me paint a picture of what personal growth looked like for ME on the World Race….
Month 1-3: The Honeymoon Stage- I’m away from home. I’m loving life. I’m in a different country. I’m experiencing new things that I would’ve never experienced. I get to bring Jesus to people EVERYDAY. I’m full of energy and ready to take on the world. Everything that is “new” and “something you wouldn’t see in America” is the coolest thing EVER and you want to tell all your friends back home what saw.
Month 4-5: Seasoned World Racer Stage: Alright, I got the hang of this traveling internationally thing. If I can manage to fly from Costa Rica to Manila, Philippines I can pretty much travel anywhere. Living out of a backpack is normal. Wearing te same clothes over and over is becoming more acceptable. We just had NEW team changes. Crap. I don’t really fit in with this new team. It’s been a challenge and that’s just another area God is growing me in. Things you would normally freak you out back in the States just becomes another thing passing by-such as seeing a baby being carried on a scooter by the DRIVER. Eh-no biggie….it happens…A LOT. You can manage to go for days without showering (btw…the longest I’ve gone is THREE days in Costa Rica. Only because we had an outdoor shower and it was freezing outside) and can handle food that isn’t the greatest. I still have energy but it’s slowly fading fast.
Alongside exhaustion, I’m really trying to figure out who I am….as a Christian and as a person. With being so busy and running around I haven’t found much time to dig into the Word. When I get home at night I’m just SO exhausted that when I say my prayer before bed I don’t really give it my all because I’m so drenched. I can safely say that BEFORE I left for the World Race, I was much more active in my faith. I was going to a church weekly that I could actually understand the language, I found times throughout the day to read the Bible, and my prayer life was blooming. What the heck happened? I’m on a Christian mission trip for 11 months. Shouldn’t I be doing those things MORE now that I’m actually living out in the mission field and away from distractions like cell phones, going out, or working?
I’m also being challenged with what my future is going to look like after the Race. I know I still have five months left, but that five months is going to go by FAST. The question is…..
Do I return home and remain there to pursue the life that I’ve always wanted? The life of having the nice house, the cars, the beautiful family, and a job that can provide abundantly for my family. I would use my World Race experience in whatever way I was able to….either by supporting missionaries on the field or going on more short term trips. I’d also like to finish getting my private pilot certification. The more we fly on airplanes on the Race the more I want to pursue a career in aviation either flying commercially or doing Air Traffic Control. I’m still young and I know that I can do either of those when I get back. I also want to enjoy the life of living nearby my friends and family. Being close to my mummy, aunts/uncles, cousins, ect. I miss them all so much!
Or..
Do I choose to commit to full-time ministry overseas. There is one ministry that I could see myself returning full time to. I won’t say who/where it is, but if you’ve been following my blogs, I think you can get an idea. I would literally give up all those things I’ve longed for mentioned in the above paragraph. Let’s look at it as giving up “The American Dream” and pursuing “The ******** Dream.” I know I can get most of those things overseas, but I’m a BIG car guy and when’s the last time you saw a full-time missionary driving a BMW 5 Series? C’mon, really? J The thing that would hurt the most is being so far away from my friends and family. If I lived overseas I would probably only be able to see them once or twice a year. Ouch. We would always have a family dinner every Sunday evening and now I’d only be able to make 4-8 Sundays a year. I’d be able to be doing something I LOVE and that’s do ministry in the name of Jesus.
Again, I still have five months left out in the field. God hasn’t heavily revealed anything to me. I mean, He’s placed something on my heart on what to do next, but I’m still praying into that. I’m also going to ask for confirmations if *this* is really what He wants me to do. I remember when I asked for confirmations about going on the World Race and I got SMACKED in the face with confirmations. Maybe this time He won’t give me and I’ll just have to do what it says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 and just GO with it.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight” -2 Corinthians 5:7
I have no idea what months 7-11 hold. I’m sure more exhaustion, frustration, and revelation. God is good. I know amidst all of those things plus more I’m sure; that God will be there watching me and guiding me.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God, who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
I don’t want to make it sound like I’m dreading everyday on The World Race. I just want to let you know what I am being challenged through.
The World Race is challenging…..physically and mentally. I feel that I owe it to you my supporters and subscribers to let you know more than just the happy go lucky aspects of The World Race. I love being here, I really do! I had a dream last night that I had just gotten home and on the 5th day I was miserable and desperately wanted to go back out in the field. Then I woke up before I found out what happened……
