i recently realized that i constantly avoid the hard questions. i run away from depth and i fall deeper into apathy. i so badly want to break down these walls but i can’t because of some underlying idea that it’s not worth it. that it’s too much. that i can’t do it and i can’t handle it. interesting how the king of the universe tells me exactly the opposite.
we can’t strive for intimacy if we are building up walls thinking we are protecting from hurt. these walls are the hurt. once we break them down we can finally see the Lords fullness. so i say boldness and courage. go on and listen. see where that takes you.
this was me, 2 months ago, in a really hard place. a place where to get out of it, it takes humility and trust because if you think you can do the race all by yourself, you are very wrong, and that goes with life in general.
now! i am in guatemala and seriously loving it so much. it wasn’t until i admitted to this to myself, that i was able to totally push past apathy. i have felt more intamacy with the Lord here in Guatemala then i have felt (i think) the entire race. i know his voice. sometimes it takes admitting these things to ourselves to grow and truly flourish. thank you Jesus for redemption and the feeling of thriving.
