Hi friends!
Let me preface this by saying wow. This trip was not in the cards for me 2 weeks ago.
2 weeks ago I was all set up to attend Clemson University and begin my major in Early Childhood Education. The Lord threw the sweetest curveball and now I am moving to Asheville in partnership with the world race for 3 months beginning August 28th. Pardon my messy english, but the Lord’s faithfulness deserves to be shared and I hope it can encourage you on your own journey today.
Around the middle of June my family received some surprising news surrounding our financial situation for the fall semester. I was affirmed not to worry because the news could easily be overturned. Then, during the last week of July the initial decision from the state proved irrevocable. A week prior to the confirmation, Clemson decided to push back in-person instruction. Okay, there’s the boring logistical details for ya!
While everything circumstantially seemed to be falling out of place I felt majorly unsettled but assumed it to be a feeling every incoming freshman goes through (& I’m sure it still is!). My heart grew to answer every future-focused question with an “I don’t know.” If you’re a visual person, I basically felt like a fuzzy screen. Around this time I was on instagram (& if you know me, I am very sporadic with my instagram visits) and came across a link to the world race semesters. I just clicked on it without really knowing why and when I read the route description my heart became so excited. The ministry connections hit every single one of my heart’s soft spots. These are the words written in my journal from that moment: “Abba, I feel crazy even thinking this is an option but I’m writing it out to You & seeking You & seeing what You would do in it & through it.”
As I pressed in for answers on where to go and what to do with the next few months I expected the Lord to pretty much write in the sky where I needed to be because there was not much time to figure it all out, right? Nope, haha! I felt Him nudging me to be okay with not knowing the answers because if I knew where He wanted me then I would somehow begin taking matters into my own hands again and that just never seems to work out so well. I felt like I was in a waiting room with Jesus right beside me taking my hand safely in His. Never have I felt so out of control, yet in the very palm of the Father’s hand. & as weird as this sounds, I hope my whole life looks like being forced to let go of my expectations for deepened dependence on the Father. It’s simply the most humbling and beautiful thing! Lots of tears. Please do not think that I have it all together. One of my favorite parts of telling this story is the humility it has taught and continues to teach me. I tend to be a pretty smiley human, but these past few weeks have been full of tears as all people pleasing and planning tendencies in me were rocked (huge shoutout to my family for the biggest hugs and lots of tissues & to sweet friends who wrap me in continual support, I am quite undeserving!).
I’ve seen the unity and peace of Jesus strengthen relationships I was terribly nervous about breaking. The deferral process for Clemson went through with ease and understanding. My application and acceptance into the program was sweetly welcomed. Even my parents initial invitation to my exotic idea took me by surprise. Every detail has been completely taken care of and not by my own doing.
I am so human & the gospel is something I am in desperate need of every single day. His precious grace is sufficient for you and for me. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you. I’m so excited to keep you in the loop of the learning & the growth over these next few months.
With love,
Peyton
