One thing I’ve started to do here is really dig deeper into myself and push past my surface level justifications for the things I do. What consumes me? Have I ever been or do I ever feel satisfied? Are the things I do constructive? Or do they just help me fill some sort of void? Questions like this have really helped me figure out myself a lot more, and have helped grow my relationship with God.
After doing a lot of reflecting on my life and a lot of reading, I’ve realized why I think it’s hard for us to feel ‘complete’ when we try and find our happiness in worldly things. It’s because things of this world are constantly ever-changing and unpredictable. People come and go, jobs have successful periods and failing periods, we feel good when we are complimented but insecure when we are criticized, etc. We simply cannot rely on these things for our happiness because they are always changing. BUT, when we start to seek our worth and fullness in Christ, we will create a solid, unchanging, stable foundation for our many seasons of life, because His truth and His word is never compromised. And the more we fill our minds with His good word, the more our beliefs will hold us up when life feels like it’s falling apart. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be happy from your job or relationships or hobbies, it just means that when you experience an unwanted change from these things, you won’t turn to thoughts like “I’m such an idiot” “why did I do that” “I’m unwanted” “I don’t belong” etc. Instead, you will remember what’s true because none of that isn’t the truth! When we exercise God’s truth into our thoughts we change those false beliefs about ourselves. Our identity starts becoming one with God. We build a stable foundation for ourselves and find peace in the madness.
So, what do you find your worth in, and what things do you fill up with? Personally, I struggle with finding my worth in the approval of others. I will try to find security in compliments and attention, and when I don’t get these things I will instantly become insecure. A big part of this also has a lot to do with social media and I think a lot of people can agree with me that social media can really make you compare, and really make you feel insecure. It sucks relying on other people to make me happy. As independent as I thought I was, I realized I depended on others so much. But I’ve realized that filling up with God’s love brings out the best of who we are. Relying on him will take away our reliance on anyone/anything else in this world. Things don’t hurt as much because you know the truths about yourselves, not the ones you made up from the feelings of rejection, loneliness, losses, etc.
Just remember that the less we fill up on God’s love and the more we fill up on our own desires, the more we will turn to anything and anyone to fill that feeling of emptiness with temporary happiness and acceptance. You might feel happy for a little while, but then life happens and things might change. It’s like riding a roller coaster with no seatbelt. You never know what turn is going to throw you off! But if you at least have that foundation of God’s truth, you will have that seatbelt for when you do hit those hard turns. You won’t fall out because you will be secure in his love. Which also might make the ride a little more enjoyable 🙂
Lately, I’ve been going out to the soccer field every morning to pray and just listen to God. I read in a book that instead of turning to our text messages and emails first thing in the morning, we should be turning to God and see what kind of messages He might have for us. I pray for him to fill me up with His love, His kindness, His joy, His patience, etc. I thank Him for my day and pray for a good one. Sometimes we are so quick to do what we want and we completely miss what God is telling us. I encourage you to try and fill up on God’s truth and see how much more at peace you feel. That emptiness you try and fill, that worthiness you try and seek, you can find it all in God’s word. I promise.
Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are loyal because they trust in you.”
