Hello friends and family! I am currently sitting in a cafe in Cambodia with my amazing team. So far, this mission trip has been such a breakthrough for me. I am learning so many new things and every day I feel myself changing. I am not quite sure where this blog post is going to take us, but bear with me!
Now, before I came on this trip, I can easily say I was living in a lot of sin. Some of it was sin I was unaware of, and some was sin that I was aware of. I also was constantly doing things for myself. I was my own person, right? It’s my body, my life, I have the power to do what I want, right? While this is true, since God so kindly gives us freedom, it wasn’t the mindset I wanted. Not after learning about the great love God has for us. Just because we can do anything we want doesn’t mean we should. With this, I’ve realized that all my life I have been putting either myself first or someone/something else. Whether it was a boy or a hobby or myself, I always idolized something on this planet. In Romans 1:25 it says, “because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.” We are here on this earth because of God. So why wouldn’t we be worshiping our Creator? How could anything on earth be worth more than the very God who created it all?
I’ve realized that although yes, I can go do whatever I want, I would rather follow what God wants me to do because I know God’s love for me is real and he has my best interest better than I do. God truly loves us. After reading a book here, it’s come to my attention that we truly don’t know love until we put God first in our lives because God IS love. God literally invented love, but for some reason, we have tried to define love ourselves for years. As humans our actions can be self benefitting, we have a tendency to give in to temptations, and we can be selfish. But God is love, God is Jesus, and Jesus is the picture of self-sacrifice for the world. What greater way to show his love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” This is the love we should be trying to pursue. To love like God does, not the way the internet has defined it.
We can try to lead our own lives all we want, but we are natural-born sinners. Eventually, we will fall to sin and temptation even when we don’t realize it. We can’t know what’s best for us because the enemy likes to help influence our choices. God plays such a big role in our lives and I never realized it until now. I never realized that my insecurities and fears and my sadness came from the sins I was partaking in, and the enemy’s words filling my brain. It does make a lot more sense now, and diving deeper into the bible has helped me understand his reasoning for everything. Day by day my relationship is deepening with Christ and I’ve honestly never felt happier or more secure. Again, not quite sure where I was going with this blog post, but I just thought I would update everyone on my walk with faith and share some of the things I’ve been learning. Most of you have seen the fun things I’ve been doing and the ministry side of things through Facebook, so I thought you all would enjoy listening to my spiritual journey as well.
I wanted to leave you all with one more thing! A friend had said to me, “Everyone has heard of John 3:16, but not everyone has heard of what John says in Revelations 3:16.”
If you are curious about what he has to say, check it out. But in relation to that verse, It’s so easy to only worship God in church. I know that because that’s how I was all my life. I would turn to Him in church, but I wasn’t putting Him first or trying to find my identity through Him outside of church. I was putting my wants first and I was still letting the world control how I perceived myself. I was still disappointing God and doing things that were not benefiting His Kingdom or showing people the way God loves!
Thank you to anyone who made it through this messy post! I hope I was able to relay some new information or a new perspective to you!
