A beautiful reflection.
22 years old.
I have been loved, and I have been lost.
I have lived, and I have been put to the grave.
And within that mix, I have discovered pieces of myself that God has so graciously revealed.
Loved.
Loved through the mystic colors, temperatures, and patterns of this Earth that God paints so we can bask in His beauty.
Through the planted desire of adventure, growth, and joys of His heart.
Nurtured those in their brokenness through their own paths of growth.
Reconnecting old friendships, and creating new ones in different spaces and places.
To finding acceptance in failure and learning how to be free through forgiveness.
Knowing that God chose me.
Lost.
Having to learn that every person is here for a season, a reason, this lifetime, or the next (Heaven bout to be lit).
Feeling as if I needed to live up to an image of myself that was created by others.
Feeling as if my body was the only part of me worth discovering.
Lost in thinking that my outer would change my inner.
Who couldn’t give up her college lifestyle, despite her desires to follow God’s convictions.
Diploma in hand, now what?
Being immersed in the community I found God, and then uprooted and moving away from all I knew.
Lived.
Finding connection with all ages, creating memories with the precious souls God placed in my life (Shoutout to my peeps).
Exploring on road trips, singing louder than anyone wanted to hear, and the laughs that echo for eternity.
Learning to love those I couldn’t easily dissect.
Who celebrated every moment regardless of the occasion.
Sobbing on my bestfriends floor until 2am, and waking up to accidental sleepovers and makeshift breakfasts.
Who stepped out of her comfort zone to the one relationship that gives her life.
She is living now.
Grave.
Who learned that she could be in front of a camera, and her spirit was the canvas instead of her body.
Who learned how to forgive her broken boundaries.
Leaving a relationship of all she’s ever known to choosing to walk a journey of singleness, spending all of her being with the Lord.
Who actively chose to choose God, and has committed to choosing Him.
Finding her voice and joy by volunteering at a ministry High School camp in the midst of losing herself to this world.
Going to that one Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) Bible study after lunch because of a shameless daughter of Christ.
I didn’t know all that I was leaving behind, and all that was going to capture my heart.
———-
A beautiful reflection.
23 years old.
I knew who I wanted to be, but I was aware of what I wasn’t doing to get there.
I was settling for mediocrity.
I learned what I thought I wanted, and what God knew I needed.
I’ve learned what I think I want, and what God knows I need.
Reflect on that for a sec.
At 23 years of age, I have learned that the older I get, the less I know any answers about my life– Where I am going, where I’ll be living, where I will work, what direction I’m moving in (etc). The less I know about where God is taking me, or what’s the next step, the more I find Him in those gaps. I have lost all avenues of leading my own life, but I have gained all of who He is and who He will continue being. I have learned many promises that can never be taken away, therefore knowing so much more of who I am and where I am able to go, with Him.
I want to be nowhere else but lost in His love, and loving others along the way.
“This little light of mine, glory be to God” -Chance the Rapper
And within that mix, I have discovered pieces of myself that God has so graciously revealed. A beautiful reflection on pieces of me.
Love,
Pele
