Sometimes you hate posting
about the bad, it’s like you’re making yourself vulnerable before others, but
I know it’s good, so here goes nothing.
God really woke me up to what a church means today.
A church is not a convention, it is
a family.
Recently I’ve felt like a nomad again. Wandering, trying to
find my tribe, trying to find a place where I belong, yet at the same time not
wanting to grow roots too deep, for fear that I would be called to leave at any
second. On one hand it sounds good in the sense that I’m ready to leave at a
moments notice, (it would not be hard for me to just board a plane right now
and say goodbye to everyone); on the other hand, I’m afraid to make any
commitments.
I have not been rooted in a single church since back in
Malaysia. I’ve attended probably 10 different churches services, trying to
find a place where I could belong, even for a little while. I’ve sought for
places with good worship (not a great band, but one where it flows with the
Holy Spirit); I’ve looked for pastors who love their church yet are
mission-minded; I’ve searched for believers who don’t come on Sundays just
because it’s part of their routine, but true worshipers who love to come
minister to God. I’ve looked for all these but I had forgotten one of the very
core meanings of a church.
A church is not a convention, it is
a family.
Like any family, there are bound to be good and bad things
in every church. Things to be proud of and things the church is still working
on; areas where a church is gifted in and anointings they’re still asking God
for. But the main point is, it’s a place where you do life together. It’s not just a place of instruct but also a
place of life impartation, where lessons and experiences are not just taught
but caught. A family where there is a spiritual ‘father’ or ‘mother’, ‘siblings’ to spur you on and smooth out your corners, and ‘children’ whom you can impart
wisdom to.
I’ve searched high and low to find a place where Gods
anointing is, where people are passionate for God, and all these are good, but
I think it’s time for me to find a home.
A church is not a convention, it is
a family. 
Pray for me as I seek for a spiritual family, one where I
could truly connect and grow.
Running the race is hard enough, let alone doing it on your
own.
