I went through surgery today.
In the spiritual.
We had been prophesying and imparting to the local Tanzanian
Bible school students after a day of just awesome teaching from Doug Johnson
and Dan and Ruanne Banse and hearing Chris and Treston share their testimonies.
As we were called out to impart to the Tanzanian students, a fear suddenly hit
me and I was like “But Lord, what am I
supposed to give? What have you given me that I can give to others?” I was
worried and I prayed that the Holy Spirit would just reveal to me.
Well one by one the Tanzanians went through the fire tunnel
and I said whatever the Holy Spirit give me, but I was still afraid to speak it
out loud for fear of sounding stupid. At the end of it, I could feel the spirit
of fear over me and I was thinking of asking people to pray it off of me but I
didn’t do anything. I just stood there by the door. Doug walked out of the
door, turned around, and asked me how I was doing.
“I’m okay.”
Doug probably saw through the “I’m okay” straight away because he just grabbed me in his arm and
hugged me. Tears just started streaming down my face.
“The Father just wants
you to rest. Just rest in His love. Don’t worry about all the things that is
not making sense”. More sobbing.
“Do you want to get
drunk in the Holy Spirit?”
“Well I never do. I
always end up still standing at the end of it.” I doubted greatly that it
was gonna happen to me.
“You know you have
permission to do that, right?”
“Huh? What?” It
wasn’t making sense to me.
“You know you have
permission to do that?”
Then the understanding hit me. I have permission to remain
standing. I’ve always thought of in the past that there must be something wrong
with me because people would be falling down left and right of me while I still
remain standing. Multiple times people have laid hands on me and I never get
drunk. And I’ve been so critical of myself.
As soon as that revelation hit, I felt and overwhelming of
the Holy Spirit and my hands started getting tingly. Then it was like it went
through my whole body and I could stand up no longer. I fell down. The tingly
was most intense on my face throughout the whole time as they prayed over and
ministered to me. All this time I was still sobbing uncontrollably. Doubt was
prayed off of me. Truth was spoken over me. And so many other things. As I lay
there, totally conscious of everyone and everything that was going on around
me, I just felt God’s love so much. Of all the things that were spoken over me,
there were three that I found most interesting.
1.
Jesus says He wants to come and be my lover,
that I am His beloved. One of my prayers going into this season was to help me
to see and understand Him as my lover. I feel like I’ve come to understand the
Father’s heart so much better this part year and a half, but I don’t see Him as
a lover at all. Well I guess Jesus is gonna come and show me. J
2.
I can ask for whatever I want. God is going to
give me a triple portion of His inheritance. I’ve been told several times that
I can ask for whatever I want, choose whatever I want to choose and He will
bless it. As strange as it sounds, I actually dislike this because I don’t know
what to ask for and what to choose. Yet God wants to give it to me. And with
the triple portion thing, I remember clearly asking for that at a church in
Florida earlier this year on the Dream Tour when we came forward wanting our
inheritance from God. I remember clearly telling God, “God, I don’t just want
your inheritance, or a double portion of it, I want a triple portion.” I
honestly don’t even know why I prayed that then, but I did.
3.
Chris, a seer, saw centurions standing over me,
protecting me, and funny enough, a pampering angel pampering me, because I don’t
allow myself to be pampered, which is so true.
So I laid there, completely overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit,
just letting God and His angels minister to me (which even to me is hard
because fleeting thoughts like “Oh I
should get up now, I don’t want to waste everyone’s time” came by and I had
to fight it off).
Eventually peace came and I felt the tingly lifted from my
body.
I felt like I had just gone through surgery and am a whole
new person. Hallelujah!
