I have been struggling for almost a month on what to say for this specific blog.
I did not really want to write this, but we have to.
To go on this trip, everybody wants me to have expectations.
Between you and me.. I do not want to have any.
At all.
If I don't have expections, then I won't be disappointed.
It's not like I don't already have them,
I just do not want any because I know what whatever they are,
God will use me in a completely different way.
I am very ready for God to use me,
But I do not want to try to expect or prepare for whatever it is.
I cannot have a certain mind set for this trip on what I think God is wanting me to do.
If I have my mind set, and I am already determined, I will be blocking
Whatever it is God is telling me.
I have talked to previous racers,
and asked many questions.
From the "What did you do about toothpaste?"
To the "How did you feel when you prayed the demon out of the woman?"
A previous racer, Ruth, told me one day during coffee,
"Payton, you can ask me all the questions you want, but whatever I tell you happened to me,
you will NEVER be prepared enough for what will happen to you."
Good.
Great.
Awesome.
I want to expect nothing.
Honestly.
So when something does happen, I will be joyful.
Or thrilled, shocked, scared, humored, anything.
I want to think right now that all I am doing is traveling to these eleven countries,
to tell all of these strangers about my God, and how mighty and powerful and loving
He is.
If something comes along the way,
Let it.
To be called to the Race,
I feel honored.
Honored that God thought I was good enough to share the great news.
Honored that I have this amazing opportunity.
On a completely different subject, this has been in my heart,
And I did not want to make a different blog for this little paragraph.
So I thought I would just throw this in.
People keep on calling me a missionary.
Please don't.
I understand it might hurt some people's feelings for me to say that,
But please hear me out.
Most people believe that a missionary is somebody who leaves the current place they reside,
And travels the world preaching about God.
Yes, that is a missionary.
But we are all missionaries.
Anybody who believes in the Lord, Jesus Christ, is a missionary.
Every person we speak to, we should be sharing the Lord.
We are all missionaries, but I choose to travel the world for a year and do it.
We all have jobs, mine is working in retail.
My sister's job is working with sick children.
Both of my parent's job is doing hair.
But our main job, is to share the good news.
I have decided to leave for a year, and do this permanently, with no distractions.
I am trying not to expect anything, even the little things.
It is hard, because I want to be prepared for anything.
But I can't. I won't.
