The Fears And Struggles We All Have.
We all struggle with something even if it’s not the same struggle as others, the struggle is still there. Some people struggle with stage fright, fear of heights, confrontation, independence and so on. Even the people who seem like they have it all together still have struggles in areas you may just not realize.
Personally, I have many struggles. For example, it’s hard for me to do something if I feel like I may not be good at it or I might fail. I have a fear of failing or making myself look ridiculous when I don’t do something right. I have a fear of speaking in front of large crowds or even small ones really. Usually, I end up so nervous that the things I want to say completely slip my mind and I forget what to say. Or, I talk really fast to try and get it over with and no one understands me. I also hate being in charge of pretty much anything. Even though sometimes I think it would be cool to have a leadership role, the thought of it honestly scares me. I tend to be a person who would rather follow than lead- which leads us to my next struggle, this thing we call making decisions. You know the thing you have to do all the time in order to get anywhere in life? Yeah that- I hate it. The least amount of options, the better. It will take me so long to decide on something and even through that process I’m asking everyone around me what they think. I guess you can say I’m a tad indecisive. There is also this fear I have of being alone or that no one will want to spend time with me.
But you know what, I’ve come to realize that all of these fears and struggles are nothing but lies of the enemy. In Philippians 4:13 it says, “I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength”. It says right there that we can do ALL things through Christ, so why do we fear these things? Why is it that we don’t live our lives based on the truths that God gives us in His word? Why is it that when certain things come up, we get a lump in our throats and start thinking of all the negative things that may happen? Well, the answer is sin. Because of the sin in this world and the lies of the enemy, we believe we cannot do certain things. Because of sin, the enemy has slithered his way into this world that was once so perfect. Now that sin is here, it will be in our lives no matter what until the day the Lord comes and takes us to heaven. But, we have a choice. We have the choice to choose! Do we choose to let the fears and struggles in our lives control us? Or do we choose God and His truths over our lives? I don’t know about you but I want to be free of these struggles and fears in my life. I want to live each day knowing that whatever the situation or circumstance, I can and will get through it because I am not walking through it alone. When I choose Christ, He gives me the strength to push through each of these fears with my head held high.
Please understand, the things I have listed above that I struggle with are still things I am struggling with today. Yes, I have chosen God and to follow His truths but it’s a work in progress. We have to choose God every day in order to concur the battles we’re facing. It’s not something we can say ok I choose you Lord and everything be perfect with rainbows and gumdrops. We have to go in knowing that it’s not going to be easy- that its going to be really hard. But, it’ll be worth it. The more we choose God, the more He is going to show up in our lives. Just as any other relationship, God wants us to want a relationship with Him. No one wants to be the person that gives and gives and never receives anything in return. He just wants us to ask and to choose Him over the devil and his schemes.
One thing I’ve learned on this trip is that I’m not alone. God is always right there by my side and I just have to learn to listen to Him when He’s speaking. Not only has God been here with me each step of the way but, He has placed amazing people in my life to also walk this journey with me. He has given me so many people back home who continue to cheer me on even when they can’t be with me. He has also given me so many wonderful women on my team who have stood by me each step of the way. They have encouraged me and they are always pushing me in the right direction and pushing me into the areas that are not easy for me. My girl Kaitlyn pointed out to me just the other day where I have been stepping into those areas of fear. I was so nervous of getting into a situation of teaching English to a group by myself and as you can imagine, it happened. But the fear was for nothing whatsoever because I did fine. I had a great time working with my group and a couple days later I had to do a one on one with a kid for two hours but it also went well. We went to church on Sunday and we were asked to speak in front of the entire congregation and tell them either part of our testimony or something we learned on this trip. Even though the church was small and only had maybe 30 people, I was still so nervous. But, I did it. We can do far more than what we think we can do, especially when are choosing to follow God. He has been so loving and full of grace and even when it’s hard, I know it’s only a matter of time before He starts putting everything into place. He will equip us for every situation we are put in.
I know life can be hard and certain things can be scary, but I challenge you to press into those difficult situations. Choose to follow the truths God has for you in His word and push into the things that may be hard for you. He’s not going to leave you and through Him, you can concur the battles you are facing.
I love you all and am here if you need prayers for anything. I would also appreciate your prayers as I am in this season of growth and am also working on the fears and struggles in my own life. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, it means so much to me.
God bless you all, Paxtyn. 🙂
