A New Year and A Year Older
New Years on the race was so different than ones I’ve experienced at home. In some ways hard and in other ways so incredible. This also goes for my birthday which on January 2nd.
It’s hard being away from home on holidays. It’s easier for some than others, but for me, it’s hard. I miss my family and spending this time with them. But this year, I got to spend it with my world race family. They have become so important to me as well and so many great things came from this time spent with each of them. Although yes, there was a little missing home involved, I felt God moving in so many ways during these few days especially.
God is showing me that yes, homesickness is a real thing but it’s something He doesn’t intend for us. He wants the very best for us and that very thing is Him. His love for us is so strong that He puts all these amazing people in our lives, from friends to family. If we are seeking God with our whole heart, then what can be missing? It’s ok to miss people but it’’s important to know that if we are following God, we are at home because He has a hold of our hearts.
New Years Eve was a fun evening spent with our whole squad. The beginning was catching up on Christmas with our white elephant exchange and then celebrating Leah’s birthday which is on New Years Eve. We also had a really awesome worship session which is where God really spoke to me. After, we were given lanterns to decorate that we would let go to celebrate the new year. I wrote down things I wanted for this new year such as healing, to hear God’s voice more clearly and a few more things. Once we finished sending off the lanterns we got the privilege to witness our dear friend and teammate being baptized right before midnight. Our leadership team decided that going into the year in prayer would be an awesome way of starting it off right. We separated into groups of three or four and picked a time to pray throughout the night. We had groups praying from 12:30 am until 6:30 am. We prayed over the things God has been doing in our lives this past year, for the new year and the things God has in store. We prayed over our squad values and the things God has placed on our hearts for this year and we also prayed for our families growth and that those without a relationship would be swept up by God’s unfailing love.
The rest of New Years Day we had worship and other sessions. During worship, I had this overwhelming peace come over me. I felt God asking me to come see Him tonight in worship and in prayer. Now my birthday being the next day, I was excited to go into it on my knees worshipping the Lord and thats exactly what I did. All day I just felt God confirming what He had asked me to do. Not only was He calling me into prayer and worship with Him but He wanted me to come in praying over myself. Now for me, it’s easier to pray for others than it is to pray over myself. I know there’s so many others in this world that struggle with things far greater than my struggles and I want to help them before helping myself. God was showing me that it’s important to pray over myself: to ask and declare the things I want and need. To go in to the year knowing when I ask for things God will answer them even if it is over myself.
At 11:30 pm I went into a quiet room by myself and turned on some worship music. I wasn’t sure at this moment where to begin, so I just asked that God would speak to me. Well throughout the night He did just that and in a way I’ve never felt HIs presence before. I began to ask Him for healing, something He has really been putting on my heart not only for my team but for myself. I began not only to ask for healing but declare it over my life. I declared inner healing over past hurts and wounds, for physical healing over my ankles, my back, shortness of breath and the dizziness I tend to get sometimes. Although some of these are mild and others give me problems more often, God is a God of healing. In Isaiah 53:5 it says, “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed”. God sent His son to die for us to save us from our own sin. His love for us is so deep and so wide that there is no love that could ever measure up to His love for us. It says in Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened”. Not only does the Word of God say that when you ask you will receive but it’s so important that it is repeated right after to show you how true it is.
When we ask God for something, He will answer. Sometimes it’s not going to be in that very moment and the answer could come later on in life but His words are true and He will answer. We have to learn to have faith in Him and His words that say when we ask we will also receive. So I declare these things over my life knowing that there will be a process to getting to that healing but the healing is coming.
As I sat there on my knees, I was crying till I could hardly breath. Crying from the overwhelming joy of knowing that I am loved and I have a father in heaven that wants to heal me. It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to ask him things that I need healing over. Now 12 am on January 2nd rolled around and I am still praising God for everything that He is revealing to me in my own life. A little after, my dear friend Kaitlyn came and sat down by me and started worshiping with me. She put her arm around me as I cried and told me Happy Birthday and to also let me know she was here with me. Not long after I felt God on the other side of me wrapping His loving arms around me just as my dear friend had. He just held me and then He was standing in front of me telling me that I am not alone and that He will never leave me. That through all the pain and heartache, He has been there and He will be there as I go through the process of healing. That He will be guiding me and showing me the truths and the love that I have in him.
God is real and the things He is doing in my life are things I have dreamt of but I doubted. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why God would want to be there to help me when there are others that need help first. But guess what? God wants to heal us all and when we ask, He’s going to do just that. Am I completely healed right now? No, I am not healed completely but I’ve made the first step towards that and that was letting God into my heart and truly believing that He will bring healing to me because I am His daughter. I am precious and special because I am His masterpiece and He loves me with the most unconditional love.
I choose to walk into this year following my father in heaven. I choose to declare the truths He says about me, the healing He is going to preform over me and His love for me. I’m so excited for where and what God is walking me through not only this year but all the years to come.
