My Life Story

I remember how bad my heart was pounding… the not knowing part was killing me. I prayed and prayed that it was all just a bad dream. Finally I was able to get in touch with a nurse at the hospital who filled me in on part of the situation. She told me that my mom was a little banged up, but my father was seriously injured. She went on to tell me that due to his injuries he would have to be transported to a much larger hospital in San Antonio where they would be able to find out the extent of his injuries. I thought to myself… this doesn’t sound good. Then she told me she was not at liberty to give me any more details until they knew the full extent of his injuries. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach. I was a zombie at work over the next couple of hours, which seemed like an eternity. Finally my mom called and I was able to speak to her for a few brief minutes. She couldn’t talk long because they were getting ready to transport my dad to the other hospital. My mom filled me in on the accident. She told me they were on their way back to Houston and she really had to use the bathroom. My dad tried to make a quick exit and the exit ramp was extremely sharp. They went over the side. They were actually airborne for a little while before their vehicle hit the ground. My mom told me she sustained whiplash, but that my dad had been in agony since the accident. Right after the accident occurred my father kept telling my mom his back hurt, which is very abnormal because he has never complained about pain. Over the years my dad has had some pretty serious injuries, but he has always maintained a very high pain threshold. Years later we would learn that he was paralyzed at the accident. After listening to my mom tell the story I knew I would be useless at work, so I asked off for the rest of the day not knowing when I would return.

Once home, I packed my bags and headed for San Antonio. I called friends and family to fill them in on the situation. A good friend from college (who lives in Dallas) could sense the despair in my voice. He immediately dropped everything he was doing and left for San Antonio to help my family. He is a true friend. On his own dime he paid for a hotel room for me and my mom and pretty much took care of us over the next few days.

By the time I made it to the hospital my dad was halfway through his 9 hour surgery, but it turned into a 12 hour surgery. They had to cut my father across his stomach from hip to hip to pull out his organs, so they could clean out bone fragments from his shattered back. They were able to repair some of the damage to his spine with donor bone, but still needed to do more. Later they flipped him over and cut him straight down his spine so they could insert two 10″ steel rods into his back (just to hold it all together).

While we were waiting for my dad to come out of surgery I was trying my best to comfort my mom. Little did she know I was a basket case inside. I was trying to stay strong for her, but it was extremely difficult. She told me that my dad was preparing to die before the surgery. He was telling her about his life insurance policy and how our lives would be better without him in his current condition (because he didn’t want to be a burden). He gave her the impression that he didn’t want to live through the surgery. This was coming from the man she loved and adored, her soulmate. When I heard this story I had to fight off the tears that were welling up inside. Over the next few hours while my dad was in surgery I tried to be her rock. While we continued to wait, I would periodically leave to get “something” but I would use this time to call my friends and sob.

CHAPTER 4: My Father

When I finally saw my father after the surgery, it was the hardest thing to take in. The image of my father in his hospital bed will forever be burned into my memory and stay with me for the rest of my life. You see… before the accident my father was a very strong and active 47 year old man. Me and my friends had a hard time keeping up with him when we played paintball, went golfing, went snow skiing, went to the lake, just about anything. Sometimes people would mistake him as my older brother… and he loved it. Then there were those times (while I was still in college) when my dad would get together with my friends and play paintball (when I couldn’t make it home for the weekend).

Growing up my father had always been the hard working parent who supported his family financially, but there were consequences. My brother and I didn’t see much of my father because he had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I was a little heartbroken as a youngster because I was involved in every sport possible, but my dad never made it to one game. From fourth through eighth grade I played soccer, basketball, ran track, and played baseball. However, it wasn’t until we moved to Oklahoma (as a sophomore in high school) that my father made it to his first game. In high school I played football, participated on the weightlifting team, and ran track. I continued to be very active. My dad worked at a nearby industrial park as a machinist (which is what he’d been doing his whole life). However, in Oklahoma he didn’t have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. This was a refreshing change for our family. He worked a graveyard shift from 4:30pm to 3:00am Monday through Thursday. Although he might of been sleepy at times, he never missed a home football game. I could always turn and see him and my mom waving at me in the crowd (like every proud parent in the stands). Then after each game they would be waiting for me so my dad could say good game and my mom could hug me and tell me she loved me. I never told them how much this meant to me. More often than not, they would attend away games in remote towns in northeast Oklahoma. I can remember many of these away games they attended, but one in particular really stands out. One Friday night we had a game in remote town in Kansas, OK. I remember that night really well because it was so bitterly cold and not many people came to the game, but there in the stands were my parents smiling and waving. It was hard to believe this was the same person that lived in Chicago. He had come a long way… he had become my best friend.

When I walked into my dad’s hospital recovery room I was only allowed to come to the foot of his bed. He looked fragile and broken. His head was swollen about twice it’s normal size. His lips were extremely dry and chapped. Every few minutes he would motion for a little water, but the nurses could only swab his lips with a wet q-tip. This broke my heart. I also remember his body shaking violently because his body temperature had been lowered during the surgery. His lips and face were still blue. The whole time I was in there I had to fight off the tears and emotions that were welling up inside. He looked like he was in immense pain and suffering. If someone had said something to me, I would have lost it.

CHAPTER 5: The Recovery

The recovery for my dad was a long and winding road. There was a bright spot early on. I specifically remember the day after the surgery. When my mom, brother, and I came to visit, the nurses had my father out of bed (to my surprise) and walking a few baby steps near his room. They reassured us that he would be fine. For brief moments he would grimace like he was in pain, but they told us he will still pretty “juiced” on mediation and therefore wouldn’t feel much pain or remember much. They also explained the faster he gets up and walks, the faster he will heal. After enduring many grueling days in the San Antonio hospital, the doctors finally released my father to go home. The prognoses looked better. He was walking around a little more each day. These were baby steps, but it was a miracle that he wasn’t paralyzed for life. Thank God! I thought to myself, if someone was going to get through this it would be my father. He is determined, a hard worker, and has a high pain threshold. When my parents arrived back in Oklahoma, I remember how my mom would call me crying because she couldn’t do something correctly for my father. You see, my dad did all of the things most men do for their wives. He changed her oil, mowed the lawn, changed light bulbs, etc. When he couldn’t do this anymore, it killed him. No longer was he the strong husband that took care of her physically, financially, and emotionally. Now it was my mom who took on all these additional duties. I know it was a very trying time in their relationship, but it was my mother who stood by his side never wavering in her commitment. I remember one night in particular when my mom called me and she was crying. She had been out in the garage changing the oil in her car (for the first time in her life). My father was out in the garage instructing her what to do, but she didn’t understand and couldn’t do it right. My father became impatient and frustrated, which later led to bitterness and anger. In his mind, it wasn’t hard at all. He had done this sort of thing his entire life and couldn’t understand what was taking her so long. He was feeling helpless and was taking out his anger on my mom. She ran inside the house and called me. I did my best to comfort her from hundreds of miles away. I had to hold back the tears because little did she know that it was I who needed comforting. This whole situation was making me sick. A few days later she called me again. She was crying after trying to figure out how to use the lawnmower. Later in the conversation she would tell me how she wished I was there to help her change a light bulb earlier that day (because her neck was still hurting from the whiplash). That was the final straw. I had finally had enough. It was killing me to hear about my parents struggles and to be helpless to do anything about it. I was also nervous about their finances since it was my dad who had been the only one working for the past few years. I knew my father wasn’t receiving any type of money from his job (since he wasn’t hurt on the job). After a few days back to work, I considered staying in Houston for a new job because of a 20% pay raise. I reasoned to myself that I could at the very least (with this new job) help my parents financially.

CHAPTER 6: Banking

The same week I was offered the new job in Houston, OSU was having a career fair that Friday. I remember this because the very next day (Saturday), I received a call from Bank of Oklahoma (BOk) to setup a phone interview. One of the guys working the career fair booth at OSU was a guy named Scott Cooksey. It just so happens he was a guy going through the BOk interview process the previous fall with me. During the interviews at BOk, I remember sitting around talking to “Cooksey”. We quickly became friends. About halfway through the day he turned to me and asked if I would take the job if they offered. I told him yes, not knowing I would receive an offer from Koch a few days later. It was this relationship that helped bring me back to Oklahoma. You see, when my college friend went to the BOk booth to drop off my resume it was Cooksey who recognized my last name. He immediately turned to show the main recruiting lady (her name was Carol), who was also working the booth. It just so happens they both remembered me (how could anyone forget a last name like Iwanaga). When BOk called me that Saturday I explained that I didn’t want Koch to know that I was looking around. I told this woman that I would probably be working late all week and asked her if there was anyway to do the phone interview in the evening when I came home from work. She assured me this would not be a problem and gave me the phone number of the person to call Monday night (which happened to be Carol). After coming home from work late Monday evening, I called the phone number and I began the interview. We talked about many things, including why I was leaving Koch to return to Oklahoma. Towards the end of the conversation, Carol asked me if I would like to come to Tulsa for an interview. I said absolutely! She asked me when I could come. I explained to her it might be a problem since I did not have any vacation days. She told me it wouldn’t be a problem, they’d just do the interviews on Saturday. Then she proceeded to ask me if I could come that Saturday. Wow! I thought to myself… God sure does answers prayers. Even though I hadn’t received a job offer at that point, I was at peace knowing that God was moving in a mighty way.

BOk flew me to Tulsa Friday night and I was finally able to spend some quality time with my folks. Everything seemed to be going perfect. Saturday morning I headed towards 71st & Yale. I really didn’t know what to expect during the interviews. I wasn’t nervous, but I couldn’t stop wondering about the interviews. Things like how many interviews I would have that day, who was going to be there on a Saturday to interview little old me, how long and formal were the interviews going to be. When I arrived at the BOk mortgage company building (this is where the interviews were being conducted) a young man named Jason came out to greet me. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was one of the main recruiters and instructors for the BOk’s management trainee program. After he led me up a few floors to where the interviews would be, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unbelievable this whole thing really was… I mean here I was a week later in Tulsa… interviewing with the largest bank in Oklahoma… and there were people actually taking time out of their busy schedules just to interview me… on a Saturday! I just couldn’t believe how quickly everything was moving. When I finally made it to my first interview, I couldn’t believe that I was sitting across the table from the second most powerful man at BOk, Jim Hollman. He was the president over the entire trust division (which managed more assets than the entire lending side of the bank). In addition, he was the president over the entire mortgage company (which still is the largest mortgage company in the state of Oklahoma). I was absolutely blown away that he was here to interview me! I can’t remember who actually interviewed me after that (I was still in shock about Jim). When I finished my last interview and headed towards my car I knew, without a doubt, that if BOk offered me the job I would say yes. I stepped into my car and said a little prayer to thank God for this opportunity and for his hand in these matters. On Monday afternoon, I received a phone call from BOk letting me know they were offering me the job. When I called Carol back that evening, we discussed salary and how much I would be making as a trainee… my heart immediately dropped. I told her how much I was making at Koch and how much I was recently offered by another company in Houston. She assured me she would find a way to work this out, but she knew her hands were tied because the trainee’s salary had to be capped at a certain dollar amount until that person graduated from the program. When she started talking about moving expenses she came up with the idea of paying me the difference in salary in the form of a moving expense check, which was great because it immediately gave me $5000 to move back to Oklahoma. I used some of the money to move and some to help my parents. I couldn’t have been more blessed. Now I was really anxious to get back home.

CHAPTER 7: Moving Home

When I returned to work the following day, I told my boss that I accepted a job back in Oklahoma and therefore wanted to give him my two weeks notice. I explained my desire to move back to Oklahoma as quickly as possible. He was very understanding and knew the situation with my parents. He told me to transition my accounts to other people in the department and once that was done I was free to leave. By Thursday, all of my accounts were transfered and I started packing my house. On Saturday I was on my way to Oklahoma and by Monday I was working for BOk.

I decided to move back into my parents house in Adair, Oklahoma. My dad is a typical man and had issues with taking money from me to help support the family. Therefore, I had to devise a plan that he would agree with and finally came up with the idea of paying him rent. The funny thing is the “rent” was higher than any place I ever lived… including my high rent apartment in Houston. I used to chuckle about this, but never said anything to my folks. When I finally settled in back home I helped my mom update her resume, brush up her interviewing skills, and had to give her a few computer lessons so she wasn’t so afraid of computers. The first job I helped her with was a place called Commercial Financial Services (also known as CFS). Every morning we would get up together and drive to Pryor, Oklahoma to pick up my friend Kai (who also worked at CFS). Some days I would drive, some days my mom would drive, and some days my friend Kai would drive. CFS was a great job for about a year, that is until they went bankrupt. It wasn’t long before I was able to convince my mom to look at BOk. I thought it would be good for our relationship. At this point we had stopped car pooling because I had moved to Tulsa, but I was looking forward to working in the same building with my mom. Some days I would get so busy that I wouldn’t stop to eat, but this would change once my mom started working at BOk. Everyday she would come by my office to have lunch or meet me somewhere. She was persistent and would make me eat no matter what. She knew I would take time to eat if she made lunch for the both of us. I loved this time together. It wasn’t because of the free lunches (although they were nice), but it was the quality time my mom and I had together each day.

About two years into my job at BOk I was having trouble working for my new boss. He was a smooth talking salesman. He could sell anything to anyone. It didn’t take me long to realize that all he cared about was making more money, no matter the cost. I started bumping heads with him when he would instruct me to sell certain products to customers who didn’t need that particular product, just to make an extra buck. I also had issues when we were on business trips together. At the time, I wasn’t old enough to rent a car by myself so he had to accompany me on all my business trips. On one particular business trip, we ended up being snowed in at the Kansas City airport on a layover from a Chicago. It was late and the only thing still open was the airport bar. With a few flights stranded at the airport, it didn’t take long for people to make their way to the bar. It was jam packed. My boss found a spot at the bar, but I was feeling a little uncomfortable sitting there because the place was packed and I was drinking water. On the other hand my boss was downing beers right and left and giving me grief for not doing the same. It didn’t take him long to start hitting on the lady sitting to his right. I leaned over to take a look and noticed she was married. This didn’t deter my boss, who happened to be 40 something and dating a 25 year old blonde bombshell that he hired in hopes of one day dating. He finally got his wish a few days before the trip. I couldn’t believe he was dating a 25 year old and still had the nerve to go after a 40 year old married lady from Houston. The next thing I know, he turns to me while talking to her and says “we” and it totally caught me off guard. The next time he turned and said “we” to her I immediately spoke up and make it clear their was no “we” in this equation. If this wasn’t bad enough, it got worse later on. Both her flight and our flight were eventually canceled. I thought we were going to spend the night in the Kansas City airport, so I asked my boss to consider renting a car to get home. Suddenly there was an announcement by the airlines and they were going to combine our flights on the plane that had just landed. For the moment, the snowy mix had subsided and one runway was being kept clean. The airline explained they were going to spray deicer on the plane until it left the ground. The plane was taking passengers to Tulsa then continuing on to Houston. Once we began boarding the plane things got ugly. I was the first one on the plane, so I walked to a window seat towards the back (it was Southwest Airlines so we could sit anywhere). I was hoping that my boss and his new “friend” would not be following me, but they did. As soon as they sat down he was all over her. He started kissing, grabbing, and rubbing every body part while I was sitting to his other side. I immediately got up and moved to an open seat in the back of the plane. This was one of the longest and most uncomfortable plane rides in my life. The whole time I could hear them getting hot and heavy. This was the last straw for me. I knew immediately I would be looking around for a new job when I got back to Tulsa. By this point every minute around him made me sick. I was fed up with this guy’s morals, ethics, and sell at all costs philosophy. My distaste for him ended up spilling over into every relationship and it was making life a struggle for me.

CHAPTER 8: Direction In Life

After many miserable days working for my boss while looking for a new job I finally had an epiphany. It was a beautiful afternoon and I was eating lunch outside with my mom, when I asked her about something that had been on my mind. I had been contemplating over the past few days about becoming a teacher. I always wanted to be a teacher, but my plan was to make millions so that I could change the world and not have to worry about money. But the truth of the matter is that I didn’t want to give up control of my life and turn everything over to Him. Having to completely depend on God for the first time in my life was a scary thought. However, I was finally to the point where I was ready to do anything to get away from my boss. Even though I was serious about becoming a teacher, I was struggling with how to break the news to my parents. I didn’t want to disappoint them. I had always done well in school and ever since I was a little kid the entire family always said that someday I’d be very successful. I always felt like I had these huge expectations to live up to from my family. In addition, I always wanted to be able to take care of my parents financially when they got older. I knew my parents didn’t have the financial resources to plan ahead for retirement. I was nervous when I told my mom about becoming a teacher, but I felt more comfortable starting with her instead of my dad. I started to explain my logic for becoming a teacher. I explained how I enjoy being around people (which is why I was in sales), and how I love working with students (which is why I was involved in the youth ministry at Asbury), and how I loved playing and watching sports growing up. I concluded that the only job that would allow me to do all these things is teaching. Then I said the icing on the cake, so to speak, was that I loved to travel and teaching would allow me to do this during the summer.

The next couple of days were discouraging. I started calling a few colleges and I kept getting the same answer. You must come back to school if you ever want to be certified to teach. All of the colleges also told me about the additional years that would be required to finish a teaching degree. Not interested in going back to school, I was really beginning to wonder if teaching was the right thing for me. In the midst of these struggles I remember praying to God one night about how He would have to open some doors if He really wanted me to be a teacher (because I knew I couldn’t do it on my own). I had heard from someone about this thing called alternative certification, but really didn’t know much about it or where I could find information about it. One day an idea popped into my head to look in the phone book and found the phone number for the Oklahoma Board of Education. I figured if anyone knew about this alternative certification program, it would be them. When I called them it was a like this huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. They were able to tell me everything I needed to know about the alternative certification program. They told me who to contact, what to do, when the deadlines were, where to go, and how to find the answers to any questions that might arise. This was a huge answer to my prayers. I soon discovered that I needed to get moving if I wanted to be a teacher by the fall semester. It was late March or early April. I found out I had to take and pass at least 3 tests, but I could only take 2 tests at a time. The problem was the only testing dates were in May and July. I had already missed the normal registration period for the May tests, but later found out I could pay a late fee and still take those tests in May. I went ahead and registered for the May and July testing dates.

A few days later I called a buddy of mine who worked at the OSU career fair office. He gave me the dates for the teacher career fair. I took a vacation day and made my way down to Stillwater to interview for teaching jobs. The fair allowed me to meet with a bunch of different schools. I couldn’t believe there were schools from California, Arkansas, Texas, Oklahoma, etc. I had no idea there would be so many schools coming to this career fair. After meeting and talking to a few school districts, I was able to narrow down my choices to a 4 Tulsa area schools. I wanted to either work for Union, Jenks, Broken Arrow, or Holland Hall. Towards the end of the career fair, teachers were able to sign up for 15 minute interviews with each school district they were interested in. Eventually I made way around to all four school districts. The purpose of these short interviews were to introduce the school districts to interested teachers. In turn the school districts had an opportunity to get to know some teachers and invite them back to the career fairs at their school.

CHAPTER 9: God Opens Doors

Towards the final days at BOk my boss started talking to me about how I needed to improve and sell more, or else. The funny thing was when I left BOk, I was the leading sales person for the department for the first quarter. I was slightly under the departments sales goal for the year, but this was after one quarter. This made my day. On the other hand, I could tell this made my boss angry because I did it without compromising my morals and ethics. He never once congratulated me or told me great job. I was so tired of working for my boss that I put in my two weeks notice in the middle of May. I had faith that God would provide. I told God it’s in His hands now and knew He would have to open some major doors for me.

I remember going to the Broken Arrow career fair shortly after tendering my resignation to the bank. When I walked into the gym at Broken Arrow I saw hundreds of people interviewing for jobs. I made my way to the main table to sign in and find out who was interviewing me. As I signed in I noticed that I was interviewing for a position at the “alternative” academy. I was expecting to be interviewing for a math position, but I was up for the challenge. After the interview I was walking away when one of the principals who interviewed me at OSU noticed me. I barely remembered him and had forgotten his name, but he ran up to me and shook my hand. He said, hey it’s John and you’re Paul, right? I was in complete shock, but I was still able to somehow say yes. He then proceeded to ask me to lunch. He told me he was planning to eat lunch with a few other principals and asked if I was interested. I said sure! He told me his group was heading to the Coney Island on 71st & Lynn Lane. Since I wasn’t familiar with the area, I told him I would follow him. After ordering some coney dogs we sat down and started talking. He explained the Broken Arrow career fair was a total mess. Somehow the people organizing the event had messed up because they were supposed to be interviewing math and science teachers, instead they were interviewing history and English teachers. He went on to say that he saw me and remembered our 15 minute conversation at OSU and was very impressed. He asked me if I would be interested in teaching math at South Intermediate High School (9th and 10th grade center). I said absolutely. I told him I hadn’t taken or passed any of the tests yet. He said that wouldn’t be a problem and that he had faith in me (that I would pass). After lunch he brought me to South Intermediate to meet the main principal and the math department head (a guy named Derek who I would later become great friends with and few a years later I would learn his best friend growing up was my best friend in high school). When we arrived at South, he showed me around the school and introduced me to everyone. We all sat down in the assistant principals office and the rest of the people interviewed me. A few minutes after the interviews, they all left together and came back with a teaching contract to sign. I was absolutely blown away.

CHAPTER 10: God’s Blessings

I had asked God to open doors, but He was knocking them down. Before I signed the contracts, I reiterated that I hadn’t taken or passed any of the tests. They said it would not be a problem. They had faith in me. However, I would only have one shot at each test. I would be taking two tests in May and two tests in July, but if I failed any of the tests I would be out of a job. There was no room for error. Although this would intimidate most people I was pretty calm about the whole ordeal. I had faith that God really wanted me to be a teacher (especially after all that had transpired). I knew a thing like these tests would not prevent me from being a teacher. When I finally took the tests, the ironic thing was I took two of the tests at South Intermediate in the room that was supposed to mine.

As if God hadn’t blessed me enough already, He decided to take it a step further. I was a little worried about my finances. I still had some school and car debt to pay which amounted to $12,000. I was wondering how I was going to pay off these debts on a salary that was 1/3-1/4 of my bank salary. When I finally left Bank of Oklahoma at the beginning of June, I received my first quarter sales check (bonus) which amounted to $17,000. This allowed me to pay off all my debts and still have $5000 to live off of until the school year started in August. Then over the summer, I received a call from John (the assistant principal who recognized me at the Broken Arrow career fair). He explained that a computer position had opened up over the summer and based on my background he wanted to know if I would be interested. I said absolutely! I told him that I really wanted a computer position, but didn’t want to mention anything because I was grateful for the math position. God is so faithful! However, the most incredible blessings were yet to come.

Before the accident, I would have never imagined that I would be a teacher (before the age of 40 at least), or that my mom would be following her dream to get a college education from a Christian school (she graduated in May of 2008 with a theology degree from ORU), or that my dad would be surrounded by many spiritual mentors at his job (he works at ORU). You see, when I moved back to Oklahoma I became heavily involved in the youth ministry department at Asbury. Without this involvement, I would not have been prepared to make such a leap of faith to become a teacher. My dad on the other hand, would have never left his job in Pryor, Oklahoma and therefore would not be surrounded by so many male Christians. Without my dad working at ORU, my mom would not have had the opportunity to go to school at ORU for free. All of these blessings would not have happened if it wasn’t for the accident. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). At the time of the accident, I could not understand why this was happening to our family. Looking back on the situation, I cannot imagine where my family would be if the accident had not happened. Just like the book “The Case for Faith” describes, God is all-knowing and God is all-good. Just like the bear that is caught in the trap cannot understand the motivations of the hunter because he is not human, we (as humans) cannot understand the motivations of God since we are not god. In other words, “How can a mere finite human be sure that infinite wisdom would not tolerate certain short-range evils in order for more long-range goods that we couldn’t foresee? So it’s at least possible that God is wise enough to foresee that we need some pain for reasons which we many not understand but which He foresees as being necessary to some eventual good. Therefore, He’s not being evil by allowing that pain to exist.”