After the recruiting trip was over, I returned to Oklahoma and told my friends and family about my plans to go to Uganda. For people who really know me, this was a HUGE surprise. The last time I was in Africa was extremely difficult for me. I was on the World Race and I experienced one of the hardest times in my life physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Physically, I got typhoid twice, malaria once, and food poisoning on a 20+ hour bus ride (see hospital picture to the right). In Uganda, we had no running water or electricity and we had to sleep in our tents inside the house to keep the mosquitos from biting us. It was extremely hot and I would fall asleep in a pool of my own sweat. The place we were staying had a metal roof and cement walls. It was nicer than the majority of the houses in the area, but it would continue to radiate the heat in the evenings. In our tents in the house it would be over 100 degrees. Outside it would be in the 90’s and feel like air conditioning, but it was too dangerous to sleep outside in our tents. The worst part of this heat was the humidity in my tent, which I would find out at the end of the month was due to a water bottle leaking in my tent under my backpack. Emotionally, I was exhausted because I had become a team leader and the job was very challenging. In addition, our pastor in Uganda was stealing money from our team. Spiritually, Uganda was one of the darkest places I’ve ever been. Every evening a thick fog would blanket our house, we would hear bloodcurdling screams from midnight to 6am, and we would hear banging and knocking sounds all night long.
To top it all off, I had this fear that God would call me to be a missionary in Africa. The fear of being a missionary came from seeing a single guy from our church stuck in a mud-hut in Africa many years ago. I feared that if I followed God’s will for my life I’d end up just like him. My dream had always been to make millions and use the money to “change the world.” I had good intentions, however, I wanted to be in control. I wanted to follow God, but I wanted it to be on my terms. My decision process would go something like this. God I’m doing this. Then I would pray for God’s blessing instead of first seeking His will for my life. I wanted an easy life, a safe life, where the only thing that was expected of me was to be a good person. I was lukewarm.
