Now I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m perfect… or that I’ve never struggled with the things of this world… because that would be a lie.
1 John 1:8-9 “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
However once we recognize our sins the devil wants to bring us shame, fear, and make us feel like we are the only one in the world who deals with that sin. That is another lie! The story I’m about to tell you is a lot like the movie “Fireproof”. If you haven’t seen the movie, you should definitely watch it.
I had been dating this wonderful girl on and off for more than 4 years (from 2003-2007). She was an incredible person (great morals & ethics) and she was beautiful (a cross between Keira Knightley & Natalie Portman). From the outside our relationship looked healthy, but there were problems… I took her for granted… I never gave her my whole heart… I struggled with the idea of soulmates… yet there was more.
I told everyone that I was trying to figure out if she was “the one” and hesitated to give her my whole heart until I was 100% sure. This part was true because I struggled with the thought of soulmates from a very young age. I believed there was only one person somewhere on this earth for me. I am convinced that it was my friend Ken who influenced me in this area or the countless movies like “Serendipity”, “The Notebook”, “Titanic”, “You’ve Got Mail”, “Meet Joe Black”, etc. I’m not sure where the idea of soulmates was introduced and engrained into my head, but it stayed with me for many, many years. It wasn’t until a heard a sermon about soulmates that I began to question my definition of soulmates. In the sermon the pastor said, “You don’t find a soulmate… you develop one.” I had heard this numerous times, but it wasn’t until he gave the following illustration. He said, “Imagine if the last girl you were dating was your soulmate, but things didn’t work out and the two of you never married. In this case, the two of you would never be complete because you didn’t marry your soulmate. Now image if you and this girl eventually married someone else. This would mean these two other people would be without their soulmates too. Now imagine this scenario throughout the course of human history. At this point, no one would ever be with their soulmate because of all the wrong choices made throughout history.” He went on to explain that there are going to be people that you meet that are either a good or bad match for you. The problem is some people jump into relationships too quickly and settle for the wrong person (a non Christian with little in common). He also went on to explain when you first meet a person the butterflies you feel is either a physical attraction (lust) or an infatuation (because the person meets all of your “criteria” on your list). He said we must first get to know a person, then you can develop deeper feelings for each other and thus BECOME SOULMATES. Basically he said love is a CHOICE, not a feeling. Until you surrender everything to the other person and serve them (without any expectation of receiving anything in return), you will never understand soulmates or the definition of true love. This was the kind of unconditional love my ex-girlfriend displayed to me, but I wasn’t ready. The timing wasn’t right… but more importantly I had to give God ALL of my heart.
Luke 8:16-17 “No one LIGHTS a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can SEE the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”
Matthew 6:22-23 “The EYE is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how GREAT is that darkness!”
Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there your HEART will be also.”
One evening I was watching the movie Spiderman 3 with my ex-girlfriend. The main character in the movie is Peter Parker and he struggles with his dark side. He becomes seduced by the power of his dark suit and it slowly begins to take over his life and change him. Eventually he realizes the cause of his problems and does something about it. That night I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to make a change in my life.
John 16:8 “When He comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment.”
The only way to beat this was to turn my life over to the Lord. It was through God’s grace and mercy that I found freedom. I have been free from this for over a year, but it started by confessing my sins to a friend and having him hold me accountable. If you are reading this and struggle with this type of sin please consider canceling your internet subscription at your house, turn off the TV or change the channel when inappropriate shows and commercials come on, when you pass by provocative magazines and billboards turn away so you are not tempted. It never gets easy so pray about it, find an accountability partner, and remember you always have a choice.
Joshua 24:15 “…but as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
