I took my mom to the airport this morning and it hit me again that I’ll be traveling the world for Jesus in a few short weeks for an entire year. When I get hit with this thought my initial reaction is fear, or terror. Praying about why that is I feel like it is tied to control. Even though I’ve surrendered my life completely to Christ I still like to have control over certain things. A morning routine, when I leave for work, what I do after work, where I go to church, the people I hang out with, the community I’m a part of, what I do with my “free time”, etc. These are things that are good and common but in this coming year I will have NO control over them. Really I won’t have any control over anything except my attitude and personal walk with Jesus.
Choosing yes to follow Jesus really is about dying to yourself daily. I thought I was already doing that, and to an extent I have been, but this year will take dying to myself to a level that is beyond myself; out of my control even. Thankfully the Holy Spirit is my comforter and Jesus’ perfect love casts out all fear. And when I enter into His presence, when I fix my eyes on who He is, that fear and terror fades away because He is good; He is loving. In all reality though everything is out of our control, out of our hands. We like to grasp and cling to things as if we know what’s best and as if we cannot live without them. But when we open up our hands and give them to Jesus, we realize that we’ve always been in His hands and He has always been in control. It’s just time that we recognize who is actually in control and give glory and honor to Him who made everything seen and unseen through Him and for Him; Jesus.
In my brief life so far I’ve realized that the things in life we cling to that we think we cannot live without are full of needless worries and don’t bring life. Jesus came to die for us that we might have life and life abundantly. I’m not talking about money or possessions; Jesus didn’t die so you could have a huge cash-flow. I’m talking about a life full of God’s presence, a peace that can only come from Him when you know that God loves you and you could never earn it. A life in a community that loves you and is for you no matter what. Jesus loves you so much, let Him take control of your life. It’s infinitely better! 🙂
