I love big moments. I enjoy adventure, adrenaline, and going after things. At the same time, I don’t have an issue getting quality time with the Lord. Lately, I’ve been learning how to slow down more and get into a regular rhythm of stillness. One big verse that keeps coming up all over:
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
With that, I’ve been asking myself these questions: What are different ways I can really slow down? How can I be completely still?
A couple of my co-leaders, Alysa and Sara, gave me words about how to slow down. They felt like I should start drawing.
Drawing? Why? What does that even mean?
So Alysa decided she would give me a journal and her watercolor set for the month. It felt very odd to me. I’ve never been one to paint and yet here I was carrying around a set of colors and brushes.
While we were in Australia, I decided to give the watercolors a try. It felt forced, unnatural. I didn’t know what to paint or how to do it. I put some worship music on, dipped the brush in some water, got some green paint (I don’t even know if that’s the order you’re supposed to do it in?), and decided to just go for it.
As soon I made that first stroke on paper, all my thoughts were silenced; no to-do lists or emails or worries. All I could hear in my head were the words, “be still, and know that I am God.” I pondered on what it means as the brush moved along the page, and God spoke a lot to me in the moment.
My mind was so quiet; it was one of the most unique experiences with Papa. He showed me a new side of being still; one where everything is so silenced I would have to force myself to not hear Him. Jesus and I were just kicking it; I was talking with my friend.
At one moment I started focusing on the product of my paintings and thought, “This looks like crap. Why am I even doing this?” I like to produce excellence, and I’ve been able to pick up a few artistic skills pretty easily in my life. This was not one of those things. I would get too much water on the paper or too little. I couldn’t get into a rhythm. I started to doubt the purpose of why I was painting. Then God reminded me again, “be still, and know that I am God.” So I paused, silenced the part of me that likes to produce greatness, and continued to move the brush along the paper as Jesus and I hung out.
Finished. Painting done. I set the brush down, looked at what I had drawn, and felt this rush of energy. Holy Spirit refreshed, rejuvenated, and filled me up. It’s not about what I paint or how good it turns out. It’s about being still and knowing the depths of who God is and who I am to Him. Painting was just a means to get me into that intimate space with the Lord, and that’s a space worth painting for.
Is my watercoloring the most beautiful thing in the world? Nah. Is it ugly? No. It’s all for Jesus and my relationship with the Father. He wants us to come as we are, whether I’m a great artist or not.
I love finding new ways to be in His presence, and I found another way to be with Him. I get to create with my Creator. God created us in His image, so He created us to create. What an awesome way to spend time with Him: to be still and know Him as Creator!
