There are often times that serving others in love does not look like the picture you imagined in your head. Today was one such experience for me. Throughout the month of February, we have served widows and children in Santo Domingo Xenacoj and the surrounding areas. This afternoon a small group of us visited Santa Maria. It was there that we visited a widow who’s husband had passed away just yesterday!
When we arrived the widow was not present, but her family welcomed us into their home nonetheless to wait for her. As we sat down, we noticed a few plastic cups and an empty bottle of some kind of liquor. A man came up to introduce himself and thank us for the visit. It seemed difficult to communicate with him, even beyond the usual difficulty many of us had with Spanish. Two other family members, a woman and a man, explained that he is deaf… and he is the father of the man who died. I was amazed at how he could smile after such a tragic loss, but he did not stop saying how grateful he was for sharing love with his family during their time of grief.
The second man began to draw my attention at this time. He explained through many slurred words that his heart was hurting this day. He expressed sadness that weighed like a heavy burden upon him. Stumbling to a stool beside me, he told me that he and his brothers had been trying to salve their wounded hearts with alcohol for the better part of the day. Their hearts were heavy because there had been four brothers and now there were only three. The one who passed away had always been the one to bring them together and now they were unsure of their family’s strength. Nevertheless, he said that it was a great inspiration to them that we would visit them during this difficult time.
At this point, my Spanish had long since failed me. It was time that I ask for help by someone with a little more understanding. I turned to one of the girls who spoke Spanish fluently. As I did this, I noticed the unease on the rest of the team’s faces and realized I was the only man in the group. My teammate Betsy pushed through her unease. She came to sit down next to me and the drunk, grieving brother. As he began to realize that she was translating to me, he began to talk more directly to her. Betsy leaned back in her chair to both avoid the spittle coming out of his mouth and the way that he leaned in much too close for comfort.
Occasionally, when it seemed necessary, I would place a hand on his shoulder and say, “Lo siento para ti y tu familia.” This would briefly redirect his attention to me and he would routinely express gratitude for our sympathy. During one of these instances, I told him that his brother would live on in his heart. It was the first time I saw peace in his eyes. He responded by saying we are all brothers.
Briefly after this, he asked where all of us were from and which church we came with. Betsy and I stated which state each teammate was from. I told him we were with the Iglesia de German. (German is our ministry contact who organizes the care for children and widows in Guatemala through GoMinistries.) The widow arrived at this time. German expressed sorrow to her for her loss and provided gifts of food to her. We sang her a song, then prayed for her and her family. As we began to leave, the grieving brother shook each of our hands and said, “Muchas gracias.”
As he shook my hand I stated once again that his brother would live on in his heart and placed my hand on his chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Muchas gracias mi hermano.” “Siempre,” I said with my hand still over his heart. “Siempre,” he smiled through his tears.
Three different girls on my team came up to me afterwards and thanked me for being there. They said that my presence distracted him from them and they were grateful for this because they were very uneasy with the situation. I was very grateful for the opportunity to serve my team in this way and, as always, I was grateful to do what little we could to ease the pain of a suffering widow. But more than anything, I was grateful this day to be able to be a brother for a brief window of time… to a man who had just lost his own.
To partner with this ministry of love and support communities throughout Latin America, please click on the Support Me button at the top of this blog or visit patrickboothcharities.org
