About 4 more months before I leave on the race and I’m staring to feel what can only be described in one word. SPENT! This feeling of having to prepare for an entire year of my life has finally settled in and the stress is growing more and more. I like to think of myself as a very laid back guy who shakes off my problems when I have ’em. Not too much really bothers me. Or maybe I’ve just misled myself and others to believe this. When there is something(s) I have to take care of by a certain time, then that is when I enjoy life a little less. It’s good for me though. It gives me some discipline, and last I checked, that’s a good thing. The great thing is I’m not alone. I’ve been talking back and forth plenty with the other teammates about our situations and praying together. It helps so much to just talk about the difficulties that we all share. I’ve hated talking about my issues in life for as long as I could remember. Its not a pride thing (I Think), I just never thought it did much good to talk about problems cuz talking never made your problems disappear right away. That’s not why you talk to others. You get things out in the open and learn from what you never knew, what you may have forgotten or what is right in front of you. It is something I’m still learning and struggling with in my walk with the Lord.
This week I had my 22nd birthday and the biggest thing I received was an ill-equipped feeling in my life that I’ve never experienced. I hate to think or talk about it but it’s almost always on my mind. When I pray, I know He knows my every action, my every thought, my every notion. Guess in the back of my mind, I’ve gotten too comfortable in this belief and don’t speak of all my struggles to God because, well… He is God! He knows everything. That is where I think I struggle the most in my prayers. He wants us to speak to Him, just as we speak to those around us. I look forward to learning how to fully listen to Him when He speaks. I know I can talk and talk to Him for a lifetime asking him to do this, do that, show me this, but if I don’t learn to trust and wait to listen, then I may just miss my train or feel like I’ve peaked in my spiritual life… if that makes any sense. I aint got much smarts or know how to describe things so well so make a side note to be open minded with me as I write blogs over the next year or so…please…
Living a life happily alone and apart from God is a hard thing to do. Well I guess impossible actually. That’s why I’m glad I have so many supporters I can call family here at home and new friends to be with on this journey around the world with the Lord. I’d just like to take a moment to thank everyone who has impacted my life. It’s far too long of a list of people to name individually. It would have to take two lifetimes on this planet for me to thank God for putting all you wonderful people in my life. Please keep me in your prayers as you keep up with me on my blogs. Teammates… I haven’t even seen your faces or spoken to half of yall, but I already feel like I could share every thought in my head with those I have talked to. Heres to traveling the world doing the Lord’s will and having a lot of laughs together thanks to His grace and mercy. Most people may not ever realize how fortunate they are. Some may not recognize how foolish we can be. I’ve finally only started to grasp how I’m considerably both.
