I love being pushed to my limits. An awesome thrill. A good adventure every once in a while. I absolutely love it!! Imagine being challenged to travel the globe for a year to several cities sharing your faith and loving on complete strangers. I wouldn’t exactly call myself an expert at this, but I’ll give it a shot, hopefully for the entire year. So many people choose to believe in something bigger than themselves. Some choose to believe we came from dirt. Then there are my close guy friends. A number are believers. A few are still confused no matter how many times they hear the Gospel. A select few that I’ve grown up with choose NOT to completely believe in or agree with what I believe in. They have many problems with the Old Testament. With HAVING to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you’ll get into heaven. Or my favorite, if there really is a God, how can He let bad things happen to good people. We’ve been a close group of brothers for years now. More than a decade with many. They know I’m a Christian and go on many missions, but they have never persecuted me in anyway for my beliefs. They see it more as a “good thing” that I’m doin mission work. Kinda just like another humanitarian. They say I’m a good person and leave it at that. I know better though. I know my life is full of sin and will probably be that way till my time here ends. That doesn’t bother me at all. I know I am forgiven. I know and believe that I am to make disciples of everyone around me. Difficult thing for me is feeling like I have successfully shared the Gospel without “forcing” it upon someone. I often make things more complicated than they really are.
Not too long ago, I said one of my first goodbyes to one of my close friends before leaving on the race. It was an unfamiliar moment. I would have to wait 14 months before I see my friend again. This was difficult for me to accept mainly because my friend is not a believer. He’s given Christianity a chance, has Christian parents, gone on a mission trip, but still for many reasons chooses not to believe. He is an amazing person and friend. Yet, I’m haunted by one question. What would happen if he passed away right now? Would we not meet in Heaven some day? If what I believe in is true about repenting and having a relationship with Christ Jesus, then NO!! I would not hang with him if our time here on earth ended now. This is one of my greatest heart aches. It’s actually the biggest objection I have with my God. Yes, that’s right. I chose to try to argue or reason with Him in this area of life. I hate that people who live better lives than me, who are more kind to strangers, do more “good” are not gonna be at the biggest party in eternity with me because they don’t accept JC into their lives…
But I guess as I sit here and gripe, I am reminded by Him that this is all the motivation I need to go and spread the good news. As my youth pastor reminds me to this day, sometimes all I can do is share with someone what Christ has done in my life, how much of a difference He has made, and just smile. I can’t save them all. I can’t force everyone to think or believe the things I do. I often forget that He does all the work in someone when He decides to. I was 15 before I actually started giving God some interest. He used everything in my life up until that point to grab my attention. It frustrates me more than anything! More than not being able to open a jar of pickles. Working a job you don’t like. Dumb people! It makes me more aggravated than anything to wait on Him. But this is God’s world. Timing is everything, and He’s the timely one, not I.
After much time to pray and think about it, I feel a peace of mind. It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced. When I first got accepted in the World Race, I spent many nights lying awake wondering if I would or could I do an exceptional job on this mission trip. Then I let bad thoughts of failure and disappointment fill my head. I became so worried that I would not be able to say the right words to save this or that person. I started believing that I would have one chance with every person I would talk to and that would decide their eternal fate. Man… I can be a big moron sometimes. I have to accept that His will for me to be a warrior for Him and go into the darkest corners sharing my faith. He’ll do all the rest. Please be in prayer for my squad and I that we will not let Satan use our own insecurities and worries as a foothold to make us stumble. That we will trust in the Lord at all time with every decision we make and be fearless too. Please also pray for patience and that I truly believe and live these words I have written above to the fullest and not just state that I know I SHOULD believe in these commands.
Ephesians 6:19-20
“Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me, so I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chain. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”
