Last week I had an emotional breakdown. It was 1:00am in the morning in Penang, Malaysia and I’d managed to convince myself that I wasn’t enough.
Wasn’t enough as a teammate, wasn’t enough as a friend and wasn’t enough for God to bother with hearing or healing.
After crying into my pillow for awhile and mentally venting my frustrations out to God, I made my way into the hallway outside my room with my bible in hand.
For the last 20 minutes or so I’d had this very persistent, nagging feeling to pick up my bible and turn to the book of Jeremiah.
So, I finally caved in. I was still nowhere near falling asleep and I was emotionally wrung out from crying in bed.
“Ok God, I’m sitting in the hallway with my bible. But where in Jeremiah do you want me to turn?”
The Lord directed me to Jeremiah 31. And let me tell you; He had A LOT to say to me.
Vs 3 – I have loved you with a faithful, everlasting love
Vs 9 – I will console you and wipe away your tears
Vs 11 – I will set you free from things to strong for you to fight alone
Vs 13 – I will turn your mourning into joy and bring you happiness
Vs 16-18 – I have heard your cries and seen your tears – there is hope for your future
Vs 20 – You are precious and delightful to Me – I haven’t forgotten about you – I will have compassion on you
Vs 22 – How long will you doubt My promises?
Vs 25 – I will replenish your weary soul
Vs 26 – Sleep in peace
Vs 35 – I have everything under control
Boom.
I was officially left humbled and speechless.
Suddenly, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and peace had claimed its place.
God has this under control. He’s always had it under control. I am enough and He does hear me and He does answer.
Thy will be done (Hillary Scott).
