I used to pray a prayer that went like this, “God, won’t you please come into my heart and into this place to fill me up.” I prayed this for so long until recently when I realized that I had it all mixed up, it was a role reversal. How foolish was I to be asking this of a God who is always present and who is always at the doors of our Hearts longing to enter in. I began to sculpt this prayer into something like this, “God, aid me in letting this world go and come to my rescue as I attempt to tear these walls down separating myself from your love.” He is always knocking and the Holy Spirit is in all of us just waiting to move on our behalf. We just have to meet them half way, take a big or small step of faith to see what our Sovereign God has waiting for us.
No promises on the fluidity of this blog, but let me take a shot at it. Lets back up a bit, maybe a few months even. Okay how about even farther, January, where I turned my life around. The first 4 or 5 months of this year were great, I was seeking the Lord and definitely growing up in my faith. I remember the first week of January when I went to start serving in youth ministry at my church and was terrified to even be there shadowing leaders who were simply interacting with some of the students. Fast forward approximately 5 short months and here I was…..
Yep that’s me, on stage, right before a message I gave to approximately 70 scary middle schoolers and some less intimidating adults in the room. A few points can be taken from this.
1. GREAT THINGS NEVER COME FROM COMFORT ZONES
– yeah I don’t care if you’ve heard this a million times, maybe it’s time you take ownership of the phrase and actually try it out and reap the benefits. I’m outgoing sure, but me on stage is something I never desired and to be completely honest it freaked me out more than [ insert your worst fear ]. This leads me to point numero dos !
2. Surround yourself with authentic community and people who will push you.
– normally you won’t see me name drop on this here blog, but where credit is due credit shall be given. Matt Hasty who is my boss/bestfriend (weird, but it works so don’t worry ) many, many months ago pushed me like no other and still does for that matter way out of my comfort zone. It started with speaking to an empty room, to a room full of people playing basketball in the back, and all the way up to a room full of people who had their eyes locked on me. The point is that you should always seek people who will seek the most out of you and all of your potential. Be that person.
So many great things came out of the first 5 months of this year, I had grown tremendously in countless ways. Things started to take a spin for the worst though, as I tried to be the guy who had it all together old hang-ups and habits began to creep back into my life. As I slowly rested into these old ways for a few weeks I had no idea why, no idea why I became so apathetic in my faith. Things started to turn back around, but only because I was so hard on myself about being judged by God and feeling condemned. As surface layer sins declined internal feelings were at an all time low. Why ? God’s timing is perfect and over the last month or so he has revealed an answer to my question. The beginning of this year was spent trying to be a perfect christian, I read the bible everyday but only to the sudden realization that all I wanted was to be able to say “I’ve read the whole bible”. Those months followed by the next couple were spent in fear of the Lord, not a righteous fear, but one that was not biblical and not healthy in any way. As I came to this realization I threw away the facade that I so desperately worked towards, the image of a “Perfect Christian”.
The Holy Spirit convicts, he does not condemn.
As I began to seek the Lord in new ways and experience his Love in new ways I began to learn more and more. A powerful prayer that has brought so much positive change is “God, reveal the flaws of my heart.” There is so much good that can come from this, as I desired conviction in all my mistakes I began to grow and seek the Lord in a much more healthy way. He isn’t just a ruler of the universe or some mysterious being, He is our father, our daddy.
As our local mission trip came up I was excited to see God work in these 180 student’s lives, but little did I know he had just as much in store for me. The first few nights of worship were great, I felt the chills and the Holy Spirit moving like I had on so many previous occasions. As the middle of the week rolled around I didn’t connect like I usually would in those circumstances, no tears, no smiles, no chills down my spine. What I had learned previously came to light, not to freak out or get mad at God for not experiencing what everyone else was. I simply just asked God what he had for me tonight and what he told me was just to listen. We as followers of God love to ask so much of him and I am guilty of such. As he brought this to light, I began to listen and wonder what was going on. What he said to me was something that did and will continue to change my life/spiritual journey.
You can never be fully surrendered, there is always more. Continue to find new ways to pick up your cross and follow me each and every day. Don’t be satisfied with where you are and don’t become stagnant in your faith.
That’s what I had done, I had been reading my bible and experiencing God through community, I was leaving on a 9 month mission trip soon so I told myself subconsciously that I was in a good place and could stay there. Wrong. As God continues to place this conviction on my heart I try my best to surrender more and more each day, I encourage you to do the same.
SIDE NOTE – As I got on stage more and more and had a voice in almost every situation I was in I became prideful, SO, don’t ever become prideful in the fact that God is allowing you to take part in his kingdom. HE chose us.
Alright y’all that sums up almost everything, now here we are. TRAINING CAMP. Whew man it was so awesome and righteous and happy and just glorious honestly. Easily one of the best weeks of my life, not to mention hardest. AIM [ Adventures in Missions ] was so intentional about stretching our faith and everything about ourselves so all of us came out radically changed and it was such a privilege to be a part of and to still be a part of !
I think what I’ll do is just give you bits and pieces that I’ve learned. What’s super important about this is that even though it may seem like it only applies to me because I’m leaving on this mission trip, it applies to you as well. God calls us to share so take out a pen and paper if you please, but here we go !
“Leave some stuff behind and come follow me, I’ll make you fishers of men.” Y’all we are called to leave our old ways behind to follow God and to become disciples and in return go and make disciples. Where is your mission field ? School ? Work ? Church ? Find your street and occupy it.
The disciples did life together. Find authentic community, speak boldly and challenge each other. Also, did you know that Jesus said we will do greater things than he did ? Well I didn’t and it totally blew my mind, it just goes to show how capable and empowered we are. [2 Timothy 2:2]
Identity: Where do you find your worth ? What is true at our core when everything else is stripped away ? Don’t put on a show for God, Don’t focus on what you do wrong. You cannot impress God, he gave you all your gifts and abilities in the first place.
[Jeremiah 31:31] New Covenant, not an external law, but an internal conviction by the Holy Spirit. This means no condemnation, but only grace. By Grace and belief in Jesus Christ we are saved, NOT by good works. Grace is activated by a heart for change.
Live from the approval of God, not for. God cannot Lie, God cannot Die, God cannot be tempted, and God cannot remember**. If he can’t remember our sins why should we ?
The devil only knows our past, not our future. He will try to use our past against us and to bring us down. Take delight knowing only God knows our future and that his plans are ones of prosperity not harm.
Forgiveness: Jesus died for not only our sins, but for everyone else’s as well. By not forgiving someone you are saying that his blood wasn’t enough.
AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY: This is the really good stuff, and most definitely what I learned most about and experienced more than anything this past couple of weeks. So our “squad” is composed of 49 people and within the span of 11 days most all of us created and shared more meaningful and deeper spiritual growth with each other than we had our entire lives with anyone else. What caused this you may ask ?
We showed up with one goal in mind, Jesus. When that is a common goal amongst a group of people there is not a limit on what can happen. The lack of surface level conversations and abundance of deep questioning and meaningful topics lead to exponential growth and the stretching of our heart’s for the Lord. The number one mission on this Earth is to know and to make known our savior Jesus Christ. Take that mentality into any interaction with any given person and you will grow deeper in your faith, guaranteed. The point of all of this is simply that there is more. There is so much more out there for all of us than we can even imagine. Don’t settle for how you’ve been living. Push pass the awkwardness of getting real with people that you’ve been complacent around for who knows how long. Take a chance and step into something deeper with God than you ever thought possible. In your accountability groups try actually holding people accountable, be audacious in your pursuit of the Lord not only by yourself, but with those who surround you. Pray for God to open your eyes and show you his beauty, pray for conviction, advice, guidance, and listen.
During Mission Okaloosa [the local mission trip about a month ago] I had the best night of my life, hands down. That night consisted solely of following spirit lead actions with a group of friends. From having fellowship with countless homeless people that God lead us to, all the way to “Holding Up” a Waffle House full of people at 2am just to invite them to come fellowship with us the next day at the fairgrounds. This night isn’t one I’ll look back on saying “Oh man I wish I could go back,” because the simple fact of the matter is, I can go back. If you or me want to have the best day of our lives, it’s out there waiting for us. Get up, live into His will, and enjoy.
