For the past few weeks team Pi, and our fearless squad leader Stephanie, have been in Eastern Europe setting up ministry contacts for the rest of the squad for April and May. Dre and Shanda went to Hungary, Dan and Josh were in Romania, and Stephanie, Ashley, and I spent our time in Ukraine and Moldova. It was a whirlwind couple of weeks but absolutely amazing. We met with a lot of incredible missionaries who were so hospitable to us and made us feel like family. I am so encouraged by the work the Lord is doing through all of them. In Ukraine we traveled to Kyiv, Lugansk, and Odessa; while in Moldova we went to 4 different towns spanning a majority of the country. As crazy as these weeks have been, I have had a good amount of time to reflect on a lot about this year.
While we were in Odessa for a few nights the girl we were staying with asked us how we were able to move around so much, experience so many cultures, see so much need, and still be emotionally stable. Her questions really got me thinking. Going from Central America to South East Asia to Africa to Eastern Europe (and lets not forget the random month in England), we have seen and experienced an overwhelming amount of things. But, for some reason, all the moving around and constant change of culture and need has become incredibly normal. It doesn’t feel strange to one day be in the heat of Malawi and the next be watching snow flurries in Ukraine. Visiting orphanages, hearing amazing stories of faith through persecution, and being constantly on a bus, train, or plane is now my life.
The hard part about this life though, IS all the change. Though it seems normal to be constantly moving, the places we move to and from are so incredibly different. There is nothing in my current surroundings that reminds me of any other experience on the race. Sure, we are visiting orphans in Eastern Europe, but their lives and struggles are drastically different than the orphans in Africa, and those in Cambodia. It is easy to forget to look back when the current view offers no reminders of where you’ve been. It’s like I have to ‘fight to feel’. I have to put in a real effort to think about where I’ve been and what I’ve seen. Its not because I have forgotten or dont care, but it is kind of a ‘self-preservation’. My mind is trying to control my emotions. I guess this is how I am still stable.
But, I dont want to give in that easily. It seems rational to say “I will stay ‘present’ and when I return home is when I can truly think about everything”. To me, that is a cop-out. I want to remember. I want to be in prayer for the churches in Nicaragua, MY children in Cambodia, the ladyboys in Thailand, the orphans of swazi, and all the others needs around this world that have touched my heart so deeply. There can be strength in brokenness, but it is a strength that is purely from the Lord. If I try to care, try to love, try to act on my own, I will fail. But, by caring with the hands of Jesus, loving with the heart of the Father, and acting through the Holy Spirit, I can remember where I’ve been and not be afraid to give my heart to all these different areas.
