“I AM your inheritance.”
Didn’t the Father say that to Moses? “I AM who I AM,” He said.
What did that mean? I saw Him hanging on the cross, beaten and bloody and naked. He did not appear put together, as I had tried to appear, didn’t seem to have a room for performance. And if I’m to focus my life on what Jesus focused His life on, I would need to trust like He trusted. “He took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it, and gave it to [the disciples], and said, ‘Take it; this is My body’. (Mark14:22) He gave His body; could I accept it? Could I let Him give me so much?!
“It’s the only way,” He said, “because without My grace, you would be an illegitimate child. But gain, you’re no orphan.”.”
“And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to [the disciples], and they all drank from it. And He said to them, ‘This is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” (Mark 14:23-24)
The only way to have peace would be to fully accept that Jesus did all the work for me on the cross. And that would mean that I come undone, that I invite Him and my brothers and sisters deeper into my home; that I make the room of performance a place of fellowship. Swallow my pride to have relationship, I would have to focus my life on what Jesus focused His life on: giving thanks in every present moment, knowing that God the Father–I AM–is there. Even though Jesus, at the Last Supper, was preparing to go to the cross and appear completely unpresentable in appearance, He gave thanks to the Father for the present moment. And God’s love and affirmation for Him as a Son sustained Him. He was subject to the Father’s mission of love.
My “dying rooms” would soon become rooms of life.
I pulled out my notebook and wrote some things I am thankful for, in order to find the Father in the present moment. He was there. I’ve written nearly a thousand things in a thousand present moments, testifying to the fact that God is in every moment, loving, lavishing, walking with us all the time. I can always find the Father, and His unchanging love, if I acknowledge Him. His Name is ‘I AM’; how much more present can He be? My room of performance is becoming a room full of grace. The Father–our relationship–is my greatest inheritance, and I am no orphan. On the Race I’ve been reminded that I am adopted.
And He showed me what it looks like when the walls are falling down. It looks like trust.
“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you, for I go to prepare a place for you.” (John14:1-2)
Acknowledgements to Ann Voskamp, “One Thousand Gifts”; Jack Frost, “Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship”
I highly recommend their books.
